Review: SIX OF HEARTS by LH Cosway

When street magician and illuuuuuuuusionist Jay Fields walks into the law offices of Matilda’s father, little does she know Jay will change her and her father’s lives. Although her father refuses to represent Jay against a newspaper in a libel case, it just so happens he has a room to let in their home, and Jay is in need of a place to live. As Matilda and Jay spend more time together, their mutual attraction becomes undeniable, but Matilda senses there’s more to Jay’s libel case than meets the eye. Will Matilda still want him once Jay pulls the curtain on his final trick?

I do enjoy LH Cosway’s novels, but Six of Hearts just didn’t come together for me. It’s a good thing this novel was obviously a revenge story (I’m a sucker for revenge stories), or I might have drifted off to another novel before I finished it.

My biggest problem with Six of Hearts was plausibility. I had a very difficult time buying into some of the things that happened early in the book—for example, the third bedroom that Matilda’s dad was trying to rent. It was way too convenient, not to mention weird. Or like when Jay easily convinced Matilda to go to a casino to “make money” for a sewing machine she’d been saving up for—one doesn’t gamble to “make money,” unless one is planning on cheating. That’s just common sense, and I found it difficult to believe that Matilda, who was clearly a planner and conservative spender, would so easily agree to risk her savings that way.

And then there was Matilda’s refusal to recognize Jay’s attraction to her, which was INSANELY obvious. I mean, I get that she’s shy and not very confident, but 200 pages was way too long to drag that shit out, especially when the guy in question was taking her out on dates, spooning with her in bed, acting all jealous when she saw other guys, etc. etc. Newsflash: HE LIKE-LIKES YOU, GIRL. YOU’RE JUST BEING STUPID NOW.

I also didn’t find the main characters to be as well-drawn as in previous Cosway novels like Still Life with Strings and Painted Faces. For an illuuuuuuusionist, Jay didn’t seem to do many tricks. I did like that Matilda had a hobby—dressmaking—but the sewing machine was the only prop to support it. There were no dress forms or mention of fabrics and where she stored them, and her descriptions of fashion and clothing was cursory at best. Niggling little details, definitely, but they bothered me.

That’s not to say the book is bad—I adored the basic concept of Six of Hearts and Cosway kept me engaged through the whole novel, even when I thought it was being a bit ridiculous. But I also suspect that, in the hands of a more skilled writer, this story could have been amazeballs instead of just okay. For example, if Arthur Conan Doyle had written this novel, he’d have had me convinced one thing was going on when it was actually a completely different thing. If Alexandre Dumas had written Six of Hearts, the plot would have unfolded with the precision of ticking clock and I’d have been blindsided by how Jay set it all up.

Neither of those scenarios happened here, and I feel like EXPECTING those things to have happened is reasonable because Cosway references the work of both those authors in the book. It was like she was aware of how she could have played with the similarities between magic and great storytelling, but instead of actually trying to do that she focused most of her energies on the relationship between Jay and Matilda. And while I did like them together and thought they had great chemistry, I didn’t think that alone was enough to support the entire novel.

So, somewhat of a mixed bag for me on this one. But Six of Hearts is still a better and more interesting read than 80% of contemporary romances out there, so worth the buy I’d say.



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Review: HURRICANE LILY by Rebecca Rogers Maher

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess who was trapped at the top of an ivory tower. Actually, it was a cottage on Cape Cod, but the end result was the same. Then a carpenter with a ginger beard showed up at her door to reinforce the walls of her self-imposed prison. Ironically, what he actually wound up doing was tearing them down (metaphorically speaking, of course).

After finishing The Bridge, I immediately downloaded Rebecca Rogers Maher's backlist. Hurricane Lily wasn't as good as The Bridge, mainly because it was too much with the narration of backstory and inner reflection. But I did like the unconventional characters and how Rogers brought class conflicts and environmental issues into the story.

Basically Hurricane Lily is about two people who are extremely angry. First you have Lily, an agoraphobic with OCD who's obsessed with hurricane-proofing her run-down cottage BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW. At first it might seem like Lily's afraid of everything, but actually she's just pissed off and terrified of her own anger against humanity in general and her dad in particular. Then you have Cliff, a Vassar-educated reverse snob who hates rich people and dreams of writing a mystery that "means something." He's sick of dealing with rich people and their selfish crap. SICK OF IT. More specifically, he's pissed that his dad died because he didn't have health insurance.

So you have an uptown girl meeting a downtown boy with a chip on shoulder, and whenever they start talking--usually about how the ice caps are melting or the like--they fight, then have sex. Usually I'm a total sucker for books like this, but in this case Cliff was just way too self-righteous and annoying. I also thought his expectations were unrealistic—he kept acting like he was at Lily's house to attend a soiree or something, expecting her to feed and water him and his crew while they're working. Keep in mind she is paying an exorbitant amount of money in order for him to DO HIS JOB, not have tea with her. Methinks he can provide his own lunch and soda pop.

As for Lily, I thought Maher played the poor-little-rich-girl card in a really interesting way and turned her into a very sympathetic character where she might otherwise have come across as pathetic or annoying. I also liked that Maher used Lily's wealth as a source of conflict in the story. Usually in romance novels, if there's a huge socio-economic disparity between the hero and heroine (and, let's face it, that's pretty common) the tensions that might result from that are either completely ignored or glossed over. Ooops, she's a secret heiress! Problem solved. Not in Hurricane Lily; Maher shows how Lily's been judged by others because of her family's wealth and how the money doesn't solve her problems or make her happy.

That being said, the pace of the novella was really slow because there was way too much time spent on the characters' thinks, feels, and backstory that I don't think was necessary. Also, the ending was REALLY abrupt. Like, whiplash-abrupt.

Overall I liked Hurricane Lily, though, despite those problems. If you like unusual romances with working-class heroes, it's worth the $2 to try it.



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Review: LICK by Kylie Scott

Evelyn is celebrating her 21st birthday in Las Vegas, hoping to have some fun for once and maybe get a little action. Then she hits the tequila and the next thing she knows, she's waking up on a bathroom floor with a ring on her finger and a shirtless guy with tats looming above her. Yup, Ev just got drunk-married in Vegas because her life is a total cliché. Somehow she's managed to land the lead guitarist of a rock band called Stage Dive, of which she is of course completely ignorant even though they're the most famous rock band in the world. Evelyn tries to go back to her normal life and divorce David, but circumstances conspire to bring them together. Will these two crazy kids find a way to work things out?

Hey! It's time to play Tasha's least-favorite book game: Where the Hell was the Editor? Supposedly Lick was published by an actual publisher, but you'd never know that from the book itself, which contains more silly typos than I've seen in many self-published books. Whoever edited this book—if anyone did, and I wouldn't be surprised if the answer was no one—apparently didn't have an English degree, or they'd have noticed the author erroneously believes "alright" is a word. Alright is not a word, it is a misspelling of the phrase "all right" by people who believe words and phrases such as "all ready" and "already," and "all together" and "altogether" are interchangeable. They're not, they have separate meanings; whereas "alright" doesn't mean anything because, to repeat, IT IS NOT A WORD. I'm willing to let the use of "alright" go with my friends' Facebook postings and the like, but if you're writing professionally, you damn well better know what is and isn't a word.

Aside from "alright," Kylie Scott uses words and phrases in ways that are really awkward and kind of make me wonder if English is her first language or not. I don't usually include quotes in my reviews, but I just have to share some of the weirder moments:

I flailed. It seemed the only proper response. 

Like, literally flailed? Like a muppet flail?

(Evelyn flails several times during the course of the novel, actually. I have no idea what this is supposed to mean, since in context it makes no sense either literally or metaphorically.)

Saying no under these conditions was a big ask. 

A big task? A lot to ask?

"You're frowning." David walked up behind me slowly. 

How does he know she's frowning if he's behind her? (The locations/times in this book are really inconsistent and show no attempt at continuity.)

"Right." He pinched his lips between his thumb and forefinger. "Well, I think not fucking around on each other would be a good start." 

Wait, what? Why is he making a duck face?

Martha gave him a hazardous smile. There was no other word for it. 

You should probably try to find another word, though, because "hazardous smile" isn't really, you know, a thing. Dangerous smile, perhaps? Seems like someone was using the thesaurus.

And on and on. All that wouldn't even bother me too much, though, if the subtext of Lick didn't reinforce gender stereotypes and feminine subjugation to male authority in the most insulting way possible. The way David treated Ev seemed designed to press every single this-guy-is-a-controlling-shithead button I have. During the course of the novel, he:

• Picks out Evelyn's clothes for her.
• Implies her own choice of clothing is inappropriate.
• Tells her what/when/how to eat; comments on her weight.
• Treats Ev, on multiple occasions, like "a doll" and "a child."
• Undresses her when she's unconscious, then expects kudos for not banging her passed-out self (why is this a thing?? My mom had a bunch of Glenna Finley books where this always happened, too).
• Wakes her up at five in the morning because he's bored. Poor baby!
• Makes her lie in bed while he's sleeping even though it's the middle of the afternoon and she's not tired, because apparently she's his personal cuddle bunny.
• Has the emotional maturity of an 8-year-old and throws temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way (such an attractive quality in a man).
• Won't let her talk to other guys and immediately accuses her of cheating on him when she does.
• Follows up an incident where Evelyn is sexually harassed in a bar by accusing her of wanting it, then giving her a taste of "rough sex" (not rapey, not rapey AT ALL).
• Undermines her plans to become an architect.

The last point was particularly upsetting, because Evelyn seems to believe this is a good thing. When the book first starts, she's going to college and plans to become an architect like her dad. Everything's hunky dory until David starts in with the, "Are you SURE you want to be an architect? You don't really sound too excited about it. Are you ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN you want to do that with your life?" Well of course she isn't, she's 21 years old and has no hobbies or interests outside of school and being David's personal dick warmer! After David plants the seeds of doubt in Evelyn's mind that maybe she doesn't *really* want to be an architect, she decides she's going to drop out of college altogether (or all together? ha!) and be a barista, because that's the only thing she's good at. It might be interesting to note that David himself never graduated from high school. Coincidence? No wonder her parents hate this guy. I'm sure she'll be very happy cooking and cleaning for him and trailing after him on tours. Way to write a woman's story, there.

Lick is probably the worst book I've read since Fifty Shades of Grey. The writing style is sloppy bordering on nonsensical and the message is awful. The sex scenes are hot, I will say that much; but they're used gratuitously when actual conversation would have done a lot more to advance character development and plot, and Evelyn's never an equal participant in them. David might as well have been jerking off.

So, yeah, I was pretty annoyed by the time I finished this novel. I think I'm pretty much an outlier in that opinion, though.



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Rock Stars and Rakes: Two Novellas

I've been reading a lot of novellas lately, because that seems like all I have the attention span for at the moment, and these are two of the most memorable. I don't think either warrants a full review, but as a pairing? Why not.

The Scandalous, Dissolute, No-Good Mr. Wright by Tessa Dare

Eliza would love to go to balls and parties like her sisters, but her dad has decided she's a troublemaker and must wait until all of them are married before she can make her debut. In the meantime, she meets Harry Wright, a rakehell who likes to encourage her to misbehave. Is it possible these two crazy kids will get together???

This is the first book I've read by Tessa Dare, and I really enjoyed her voice. It was light-hearted and fun and clever, kind of like Julia Quinn but better (I've never been a big Quinn fan, for what it's worth). That being said, I did have a few problems with this novella.

First (and most) of all, The Scandalous, Dissolute, No-Good Mr. Wright (hereafter known as TSDNGMW, because carpal tunnel) has a prologue. In a novella??? Are you freaking kidding me? What in the name of... ::deep breaths:: Naturally it's not labeled as a prologue, and normally the subsequent rage I would feel over this fact would make me immediately DNF a book; so I think it's a testament to Dare's writing style that I was able to keep reading and not get too upset about it. Somewhat. I tried not to think about it and that almost worked.

The thing with the prologue (yes, I'm going to keep harping on it) was that 1. I could tell while I was reading it that it was a prologue, just because it had that tone of "Oh, I need to capture the reader's attention with a super-intense meet-cute scene;" and 2. the prologue was substantially better than the rest of the book. WHICH IS WHY I FREAKING HATE PROLOGUES. I'm not going to pretend I understand the psychology of writing prologues, because begin at the beginning is like the number one rule of storytelling, but it seems as if prologues are always either different (read: better) stories from the actual novel OR they're just boring and pointless infodumps. And when it comes to the former, one really should be bringing one's A-game that way for the entire book.

That's not to say the rest of TSDNGMW was bad, though. It was still very entertaining and Eliza and Harry had insane chemistry. I also liked how Harry's true character was gradually revealed, although I felt like more could have been done with the story of Eliza's supposed indiscretion. The ending was kind of sappy, hard to believe and didn't gel well with the rest of the book. The heir to a dukedom is going to join the army as a PRIVATE? Yeah, right. That stretches the bounds of credibility even for a romance novel.

Nevertheless, like I said, I did enjoy Dare's writing style and would be willing to read another book by her. As long as it didn't have a prologue.

One Hit Wonder by Elyssa Patrick

Jane is the personal assistant to Damon Suarez (there's an attractive name), a singer who peaked as a teenager with his single hit song. Now in his 30's, Suarez is still living the life: performing in concerts, hanging out with groupies, and perpetually planning his big come-back. Then Jane throws him for a loop when she gives her two weeks notice. He has no idea that Jane is quitting because she's hopelessly in love with him. Will these two crazy kids get together before Jane gathers up her resume and leaves?


Visual approximation of Damon Suarez.

One Hit Wonder was kind of hokey and cheesy, but what really bothered me about it was Damon. Imagine if Russel Brand and David Cassidy had a baby with the fashion sense of Rod Stewart and you have a pretty good idea of what Damon is like. Why is this attractive? I don't know. It was kind of a train wreck. Also: why is a one-hit-wonder teen idol considered a "rock star" in this scenario? I'm sorry, but no. If you're going to title your series "Rock Stars in Love," you need to have actual ROCK STARS as your heroes. Not pop stars, not rappers (although I would totally read a book with a rapper hero), not jazz musicians, not folksy singer-song writers, but ACTUAL. ROCK. STARS.

So my sensibilities were offended on that account. Other than that, the romance was kind of meh, the dancing sounded almost as embarrassing as the clothes, and I swear the author mentioned Damon had brown eyes like eighty-five times. I did like the sex scenes, though. wink wink, nudge nudge

Despite my problems with this novella, I would like to read one of Elyssa Patrick's full-length novels, more because I love rock star heroes than because I was terribly enamoured of her writing style. Just as long as the novels have actual rock stars.


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Review: DEFENDING THE DUCHESS by Rachelle McCalla

Proposed alternate title: Crossing the Line with the Duchess (it is said twice)




Julia is visiting her sister, an American who married into the royal family of a very obscure country in Central Europe named, for some reason, after Elizabeth Bennet's flighty sister. Anyway, now that her sister is a queen, Julia is slated to become a royal duchess--if she survives long enough to make it to the ceremony! Fortunately, she has a bodyguard with the unlikely name of Linus to keep her safe. Nothing's sexier than safe!

Defending the Duchess started out pretty good, with Julia almost immediately being abducted and Linus chasing after her. Very exciting! Buuuuuuut then the book became all about finding out who attempted to kidnap Julia and why, and it had something to do with engines, and I just really did not care. The less I know about the MacGuffin the better, and unfortunately Defending the Duchess was 90% blah blah blah about engines and legal documents and cars. Snoresville, especially since it seemed like the author didn't know a whole lot about any of those things.

I can understand why there was so much about the MacGuffin, though, because without it the book would have been fifty pages! There was no character development at all and very little romance. Julia was the most bizarrely weak character, both physically and emotionally, that I have come across in a long time. Maybe ever. She bangs her shin and is completely unable to walk; she gets a phone call from the baddy bad guy and "whimpers"; and whenever one tiny thing goes wrong she has an emotional breakdown and can't deal. I'm not saying I'm a rock or anything, but how on earth did she make it through law school if she faints at every sign of conflict?

Also, the writing was super-stilted. When Defending the Duchess first started I found it a bit hilarious ("The handsome guard's chivalrous actions;" "Julia caught a whiff of a manly scent;" "Were all royal guards so perfectly sweet and attentive? Julia couldn't recall a time when she'd felt so pampered;" "Julia felt her heart warm a little more for the thoughtful guard;" etc. etc.), but after a while it started to wear on me, especially when there was nothing interesting going on in the story.

I'm not sure why I kept reading, except that I'm a sucker for Ruritanian romances and I kind of liked Linus (even if I did think of the movie Sabrina every time I saw his name and reflect on how that's the most inappropriate name for a bodyguard ever). I skimmed through most of it, I'm not going to lie, and was pretty relieved when it was over. Nevertheless, I might consider reading the next book in the series, even though I have no idea what other relatives King Thaddeus and company are going to dig out of the US.


ETA: Oh, oops! I forgot to add, I got a copy of this book from the publisher for free on Netgalley. Thanks, publisher!



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Guest Post by Magdalen Braden: CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE AUTHORS DO IT WITH LESS

Magdalen is one of my favorite bloggers at Promantica. She doesn't review books, but she does blog about reading and writing, and her posts are invariably interesting! Today she's here to explain the art of writing a contemporary romance. Welcome, Magdalen!


You can get a reader in a romantic mood really quickly by setting the story in a romantic era, with romantic characters in a romantic setting. If you’re writing anything other than a contemporary romance, you’ve got it easy.

[Handy guide: Romantic eras include the Regency, pre-Revolutionary Paris, pre-American Revolution, and even some wars (all those yummy spies). Romantic creatures include vampires, mages, shapeshifters, and some literal Greek gods. Romantic settings include outer space, Atlantis, pirate ships, Almacks, and a sheikh’s Bedouin encampment.]

Contemporary romance writers have none of those things to work with. We’re required to dream up a romance from a few raw ingredients: one modern man, one modern woman, a plot, a real place that someone could visit today, and some realistic complications. Hey, it’s not easy. McGyver would have struggled with just those bits and pieces.



Everything in a contemporary romance has to sound plausible but also seem exotic. Billionaire sheikhs have to look like Oded Fehr: [Photo 1] And not like Sheikh Jaber Al-Ahmad Al-Jaber Al-Sabah: [Photo 2] Cowboy heroes are as sexy as the Marlboro Man, but don’t smell like an ashtray. Special Forces veterans never have PTSD severe enough to hamper their alpha hero status.

All of that is true because readers live in the same world as contemporary romances, but they don’t want a contemporary romance to remind them of their world. No broken toilets, no money problems, no screaming brats, no churlish in-laws, no cars that won’t start—unless the breakdown results in a meet-cute with the small-town chief of police who’s manning the switchboard, answers the frantic call for a tow truck, and comes out to rescue the heroine, only to discover she’s actually the straight-arrow auditor hired by the corrupt mayor to go over the police department’s books with a fine-tooth comb.

Ooh, I like that. I may have to write that...

In a contemporary romance, the laws of nature apply, the human body is limited to a narrow range of fang-less and fur-less specifications, and it’s a fine line between swoon-worthy and stalker. But we tackle all those limitations because, when it’s done right a contemporary romance reminds us that love really could be right around the corner. Sure, we’re not likely to meet a super-hot cowboy or an Italian magnate, but a well-written contemporary romance can let us dream.

After all, there’s no barrier of time, genetics, or science preventing a contemporary romance from coming true in the here and now.


Thank you, Magdalen! I'll take Oded Fehr any day. ;)
Magdalen is starting her own publishing company called Harmony Road Press and her series of legal romance novels, The Blackjack Quartet, is going to be published in 2012! To find out more about her and her work, please visit her author website at www.MagdalenBraden.com or her blog at www.Promantica.com.

What Are Your Favorite Contemporary Romances?

I saw this at Adventures in Katidom and thought it would make an good post:  What are some of your favorite single-title contemporary romances?  I don't read a lot of contemporary romances, but there are definitely a few that I love.  Here they are:



Drive Me Wild by Julie Ortolon

Julie Ortolon is one of my favorite contemporary romance writers.  Drive Me Wild was her first release, and it's still my favorite.  Laura Beth is a shy, small town girl who has always yearned to escape from Beason's Ferry, Texas--just like her best friend from high school, Brett Michaels, who was the town bad boy but is now a big-time TV news anchor.  This book has some of my all-time favorite romance tropes:  uptown girl meets downtown boy; childhood sweethearts (even though they were technically just friends), and a brooding hero.  Also, fast cars--fast cars are always a plus.



Just the Sexiest Man Alive by Julie James

I wasn't sure I was going to like this book, and at first I didn't.  But then I realized it was actually a take on Pride & Prejudice, and one of the cleverest ones I've ever read.  Hard working, no-nonsense Taylor is assigned to babysit movie star Jason, whom ALL the women want because he's handsome and rich.  And he knows it.  I loved the character of Jason and how this book feels like a Preston Sturges romantic comedy.  A totally fun and enjoyable read.



Crazy Hot by Tara Janzen

Have I mentioned I love fast cars?  Well, Janzen's Hot books are full of fast cars.  Quinn Younger is a former car thief who is now working for black ops out of... Denver?  Hrm.  Okay, whatever.  Anyway, former bad boy, yay!  And he's been obsessed with this woman named Regan ever since they were teenagers and he helped her professor father out at a dinosaur dig (part of juvenile offender reform program).  This is another really fun book that's total escapist reading.  And the love scene on the hood of Quinn's car?  Definitely hot.








It Must Be Love by Rachel Gibson

One of the most enjoyable contemporary romances I've read. The hero is a cop (I heart stories with cops), and the heroine is a New Age-y yoga instructor. Will the no-nonsense cop be able to get along with the miss flighty spirituality froo-froo? I just don't know!




The Widow by Anne Stuart

One of the things I love about this book is that the character of Aristide, the dead half of "the widow," is based on Picasso.  Art history shout-out!  Also, the heroine, Charlie, is kick-ass; and the hero, Connor, is really hawt.  Add in a Gothic atmosphere set among the beautiful scenery of Tuscany and this book is a total win.



Charmed, I'm Sure by Liz Ireland

One of my friends told me I should read this book, and I'm glad I did.  A woman named Callie accidentally turns her boss into a golden retriever, and then she falls in love with his nephew.  The set-up sounds lame, but aside from being really funny, this book is actually surprisingly impactful.  The characters are so well-drawn that you can't help but sympathize with them, and despite the fact that one of them has magical powers, they deal with real-world problems.  I was really touched at the end of this book, and it was entertaining.  What more can you ask for?



Baby, Don't Go by Susan Andersen

This is by far my favorite Susan Andersen book.  Nick is a high-society photographer.  He hires Daisy, a security guard, to help protect him from the mafia--or something.  But the twist is, when they were teenagers, Daisy was in love with Nick and he disappeared immediately after the first and only time they had sex.  So she's pretty pissed at him.  I love the twist of having the heroine be the tough cop character, and Nick and Daisy have awesome chemistry together.

What are your favorite contemporary romances?

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