Sunday, June 9, 2013

Dan Brown's INFERNO Drinking Game


You know how sometimes you don't realize you really wanted or needed something until someone gives it to you? Well, today I'm here to give you what you never realized you always wanted: the Inferno drinking game! So cuddle up with a bottle or three, a copy of Dan Brown's latest, and settle in for a drunk-ass weekend.

For this drinking game, I recommend Frangelico, a bottle of Scotch, and Doluca wine.


  • Every time the provost drinks (obvs).
  • Every time Robert Langdon wants to do something frivolous like eat lunch, but realizes he doesn't have time because he's being chased (one of the more accurate depictions of a professor's life I've seen in these books to date, by the way).
  • For every plane, train, or boat. I'm on a boat!
  • Every time Langdon observes Sienna is a good actress.
  • When someone is drugged.
  • Whenever you wonder what art has to do with any of this.
  • For every tortured explanation of why Langdon can't recall something even though he has an eidetic memory.
  • Whenever you feel like you're in Assassin's Creed 2.

Start chugging:

  • During every scene on the Mendacium. Because holy crap, those were some boring, repetitive scenes.
  • When Langdon's inner monologue turns all tour-guide-y ("Above, you'll see the clock of St. Mark's Tower, which was featured in the James Bond film, Moonraker!").
  • During every lecture and/or flashback.

Take a shot for every...

  • Time information is repeated. Double shot if it's on the same page.
  • Secret passage.
  • Wanton destruction of artwork.
  • Chase scene.
  • Museum employee Langdon knows or who knows of Langdon.
  • Mention of eBooks.
  • Obvious anagrams.
  • Time Langdon mentions he was on some sort of VIP tour.
  • Non-sensical metaphor ("Langdon felt like he had awoken inside a Max Ernst painting." What? What does that even mean?).
  • Unnecessary adverb ("Thank you," he said politely).
  • Whenever someone searches the internet on their phone.

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