Review: ICED by Karen Marie Moning

It's the Ryodan Show! Welcome to the Ryodan Show, where the world revolves around Ryodan, the most interesting man in the world. Ryodan knows mostly everything, but there's one thing he doesn't know: who, how, what, and why is freezing Unseelie in his club. For some reason he thinks Dani Mega O'Malley, a fourteen-year-old who fancies herself a superhero[ine], will be able to help him figure it out.

I was kind of excited about Iced, the first novel in a new series that takes place in the same world as the Fever series, Karen Marie Moning's über-successful PNR novels about a post-Apocalyptic world in Dublin. I loved the Fever series, which concluded last year. Dani, supposedly the main character in Iced and a supporting player in the Fever books, wasn't the most interesting person, but I wasn't opposed to her getting her own book.

Guys, I had so many problems with this novel. Whereas the Fever series felt like it knew exactly where it was going, and I could relate to the characters, Iced seemed like Moning was making it up as she went along. And I could not connect to Dani at all. Let's break it down a little, shall we?

• Dani--First and foremost, Iced does not feel like Dani's story. I'm honestly not sure whose story it is (Moning switches points of view a lot), but even though Dani gets most of the page time, I never got the sense I was reading her story. Secondly, she was completely unbelievable as a character. I was annoyed by Mac sometimes, but I was able to buy into her emotions and predicament. With Dani, I was just annoyed. She was way too OTT, from her crappy childhood to her reactions to EVERYTHING, to the fact that she didn't act like a believable fourteen-year-old. I can see where Moning was trying to make her *seem* like a teenager, but it didn't work for me. And speaking of age, this may be a stupid question, but why is Dani fourteen? Normally I don't care about characters' ages, but Moning makes a point of mentioning Dani's age (or lack thereof) every ten pages, and it doesn't contribute to the story at all. In fact, it works against the believability of the story pretty severely. 
• Chapter titles--All of the chapter titles are song lyrics. Now, quoting song lyrics in novels is generally a bad idea (they never mean the same thing to you as they do to other people, trust me on this), but using them as chapter titles wouldn't bother me if it wasn't symptomatic of the central problems with Iced. None of these characters are musicians. OR EVEN LISTEN TO MUSIC. There's no music in this book, which is set in an alternate world *in Dublin* anyway, so why are the chapters referencing contemporary and classic American rock? Makes absolutely zero sense.
• Ryodan and Christian--Ryodan was an okay character in the Fever series. I didn't give two shits about any of the Keltars, but that's probably because I didn't read that series by Moning set in Scotland, whatever it was. ANYway. My point here is this: Ryodan in Iced is boring. The way he ended every question with a period drove me bonkers. And the way he kept petting Dani was P R E T T Y creepy, almost as creepy as Christian stalking her. Especially considering she's four freaking teen. 
• Story and pacing--You know how I'm always harping on when the pirates go back to the island in Pirates of the Caribbean? Now imagine the entire movie where they just keep going back to the island. Iced is kind of like that; except instead of an island, Dani keeps going back to Chester's. It's like this: Chester's, plot; leave Chester's so we can get adventures and pointless backstory; go back to Chester's so we can get back to the plot. FOR THE LOVE GOD, this book could have been wrapped up in 250 pages if Dani'd just stayed in Chester's!

Basically I really did not get Iced. At all. It just seems like a really weird, meandery book where the author didn't fully think everything through and then the editor didn't ask the right questions. But obviously that's just my personal opinion. And on the plus side I don't have to buy any more books in this series, yay!

Review: THE FLOWER BOWL SPELL by Olivia Boler

Memphis Zhang is a journalist/dog walker living in San Francisco who can see fairies and do magick--even though she chooses not to. When she meets the older brother of a long-deceased friend, however, Memphis' past starts coming back to haunt her in a big way. First a woman she knew passingly when they were both children drops her kids off for indefinite babysitting, and then the older brother--who just happens to be an attractive rock star, win--invites her to go on tour with him. It's only after Memphis agrees that she begins to suspect some rotten magick is afoot.

I am a sucker for books about witches. A book about a witch set in San Francisco, with a rock star to boot? I'm all over that. While I did like a lot of individual elements in The Flower Bowl Spell, it didn't quite come together for me.

For the most part, this is due entirely to the way the story is told--I felt like this book might have had a great story arc, but the plot doesn't get going until you're halfway through the novel, and before that it seems like every five pages more backstory pops up, which slowed The Flower Bowl Spell down considerably. When major plot developments do happen, it's difficult to tell if they're important or not because the pacing of the novel is pretty much set at one speed. It could--and probably should--have been edited down by about a fourth.

Even with the slow pacing, though, I have to say that, thanks to the writing style, I wasn't bored--just impatient. Once Memphis goes on tour with the rock star's band, things pick up. Admittedly, this might be because the rock star--whose name is Tyson--was the only thing I cared about in this novel. Memphis' regular boyfriend, Cooper, is a creeper. You can tell because he used to be her high school French teacher. Not to mention that Tyson is a ROCK STAR! I loved every minute he was on the page, even when what was going on made zero sense to me.

There's more to this novel than Tyson, though--a lot more, and while it's interesting and not formulaic, sometimes it doesn't seem to lead anywhere. I can't help but compare The Flower Bowl Spell to A Discovery of Witches (review here), another novel I read recently about a witch trying to lead a normal life. Both books have similar problems, but I think I prefer the writing style in The Flower Bowl Spell. I also like the main character of The Flower Bowl Spell, Memphis, and find her more believable and mature than the heroine of Discovery.

The Flower Bowl Spell isn't perfect, but it is unique. Where else are you going to find a novel that has fairies, witches, French restaurants, rock stars, and a Chinese-American heroine? In a lot of ways I think think The Flower Bowl Spell is an ideal candidate for self-publishing, because it doesn't easily fit into any genre but is definitely worth checking out.


Thank you to the author and ABG Reads Book Tours for providing me with a copy of this book for review!



Giveaway!

If you would like to win a copy of The Flower Bowl Spell, please fill out the form below or go here. Contest runs from June 11th-15th and is for eBook copies only.

Book Review: FAIRY CASANOVA by Gracen Miller

Sadie is lawyer who decides to treat herself with an anonymous hook-up in a Las Vegas brothel after she loses her job and her fiance in one day. Jace is the future king o'the fairies who wants to fulfill his dream of sexxxoring a human before being married to a fairy queen. Put these two in a hotel room and let convenient plot devices do their work.

This isn't the type of book I normally read at all. Did I buy it because the name Casanova was in the title? Because it was on sale for $2? Because I'd just drunk way too much and was really bored? MAYBE. However my purchase came about, this novella proved to be an edumacational experience.

Things I learned from this book:

• Real women are curvaceous.
• Fairy (read: fake) women are skinny. Like the bean poles, as they say.
• Real women also give head. Which is something no self-respecting not-real woman would do. I mean, fairies! Fairy women!
• Watch out for wing globules.
• Also thigh humidity.
• Osculate: verb. Def 1. Mathematics (of a curve or surface) touch (another curve or surface) so as to have a common tangent at the point of contact : [as adj. ] ( osculating) the plots have been drawn using osculating orbital elements. 2. Formal or humorous kiss.
• "... thick, uncut and nestled in a bed of..." lettuce? Is this a penis or a piece of meat? You decide.
  

I wouldn't call this book "good," necessarily. It was completely silly and ridiculous and there some INSANELY cheesy lines. It was fun, but was it worth $2? The jury's still out on that one.

Review: INK EXCHANGE by Melissa Marr

Leslie appeared briefly as one of Aislinn's friends in Wicked Lovely; unbeknownst to Aislinn or any of her other friends at the time, Les' life is nightmare. Basically abandoned by her father and working to keep a roof over her head, her addict brother occasionally drugs her and then pimps her out to his friends. To gain some control over life, Les decides to get a tattoo. Unfortunately, said tattoo is actually a magic spell that ties her to Irial, the king of the faeries' Dark Court.

As with Wicked Lovely, in Ink Exchange, Melissa Marr takes familiar tropes of teen paranormal romance and switches them up. Irial is the handsome and dangerous Dark King who isn't all bad; he cares for Leslie as he wouldn't for any other mortal, feels her emotions, and wants her to be happy. He promises to give Les everything she ever wanted: love, a place to belong, protection, revenge against the men who raped her, and above all mind bleach to take away the fear that's defined her life for months. "Only Irial makes it all better," Les says at one point. Yet Irial is not in any way the romantic hero of the story the way, say, Edward Cullen would be. For one thing, from the beginning of the novel a correspondence is drawn between Irial and Les' brother, Ren--they both use her for their own ends and take away her choices. For another, the narrator of the book (I listened to this on audiobook) makes Irial sound ridiculously sleazy. It's hard to imagine Les actually being attracted to this creepzoid if it wasn't for her tattoo.

Then there's Niall, another fae who is the Summer King's advisor and was also in Wicked Lovely (he was the funny one). Despite the fact that Niall is now part of the Summer Court, he was once a member of the Dark Court and v e r y close to Irial. Their relationship definitely contains homoerotic overtones ("He saw the dark passion in Irial's eyes," they kiss, Irial spends centuries waiting for him, I could go on). Despite the fact that Niall talks like an escapee from a Renaissance fair ("Come! Let us go to the club."), Leslie thinks he's a normal human and is deeply attracted to him. But then of course she is--Niall is addictive to humans, which is why he generally stays away from them. But he can't stay away from Leslie! Is it true love?

It's impossible not to root for Niall, who is totally likeable and has been ever since Wicked Lovely; but even though he seems like better hero material than Irial times a thousand, there really is no difference between him and the Dark King other than the fact that Niall resists the dark side of himself. At least, he does until he can't. Although he knows it's wrong and Leslie's response to him is dependent on his fae nature, her own attraction to the dark court and connection to Irial are too irresistible for him.

With two guys after her, both of whom are essentially bad news, it seems like Leslie is screwed no matter what happens. Yet somehow the tables get turned on our two would-be heroes. Les frees herself and escapes, apparently unscathed, into a normal human life, while Niall and Irial's lives are upended even as they continue to revolve around Les. Niall especially gets the short end of the stick at the ending, and one has to wonder why. Like Les, Niall was used and victimized by those he trusted, and like her, he left the Dark Court because of it. But if Niall can't deny his "true nature," the part of himself that was attracted to the dark to begin with, can Les? She was the one who initially demanded Irial's tattoo, after all. Will she eventually be unable to deny the attraction of the Dark Court like Niall? Or is the very fact that she's able to make choices for herself in a way Niall and Irial can't the element that attracts them to her?

I wouldn't call Ink Exchange a romance at all, really, but it does tell a great story and takes a deeper look at these sorts of relationships than your average YA novel. I definitely recommend this series!

Musical Notes: "Your Love Is My Drug," by Ke$ha

Masculinity in Melissa Marr's Wicked Lovely

I've blogged about love triangles in YA novels before, and how they always seem to boil down to the guy friend versus the hot guy. But Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr changes this paradigm up a bit: the main character, Aislinn, lusts after and wants to be "friends" with both Keenan, the faerie prince, and Seth, the tattooed and pierced human. So what will separate these two suitors in Aislinn's mind? The answer is masculinity.

Keenan

Seeing as how Keenan is a fae prince with numerous magical powers, as well as the authority to command all of the summer fae, one would think his masculinity would at least measure up to Seth's, if not exceed it. Instead, his "manliness" is almost nonexistent. He's metaphorically emasculated by his mother--stripped of all his power and ability to act--several times in the book. He can't protect Donia, one of his former paramours, from his mother's retaliation, and needs a woman--Aislinn--to come into his full powers. Even with Aislinn, however, he's not the one in control: once Aislinn realizes she's the Summer Queen, she intimidates Keenan and basically calls all the shots, forcing him to play a supporting role. Keenan's attempts to assert his authority backfire and end up as laughable, since he hardly has the conviction to enforce rules or punish anyone, least of all Aislinn.

Keenan is disheartened when he first realizes that even though Aislinn has decided to be the Summer Queen, she's not his queen--she just wants them to be friends. Work friends, as she puts it. This isn't because he has any personal feelings for her (he's obviously still in love with Donia), but because Aislinn's refusal to let him sexually dominate her robs him of the power he was clearly anticipating coming into with the discovery of his summer queen. Although we're told Keenan has had countless love affairs with mortals in the search for his queen, during the course of the novel we never see him successfully pursue a female, and it's difficult to imagine him having sex at all because his character is so powerless and unassertive. The examples of women from his past, the Summer Girls, are all ditzes who will sleep with anyone, so clearly not a comment on Keenan's personal magnetism; and even Donia, who tells him she loves him, only allows him to sleep with her because she knows it will be advantageous, allowing her to manipulate Keenan in the future.

Seth

Seth is also a serious ladies' man, with many conquests and one-night stands to his name; but unlike with Keenan, we can believe it of Seth even though we never meet his previous conquests. He lives with complete autonomy, in his own home which is filled with symbols of his strength, sexual prowess, and ability to protect. The walls of his home--which he made himself (definitely a provider)--are made of steel, keeping out all the fae except those of the royal court and thus protecting him and Aislinn. He is constantly feeding Aislinn, and can also take care of other creatures, as evidenced by his huge pet snake that likes to nestle in Aislinn's lap (! my, Seth, what a large friendly snake you have). Seth immediately demands respect from those around him, including Donia and Keenan, though he is a mere mortal. Sexually, he exhibits control, never forcing Aislinn to acknowledge their attraction and even delaying the consummation of their relationship when she wants to have sex.

Seth has other personality traits that differentiate him from Keenan and mark him as more of a man, while Keenan remains a boy. He's responsible, supportive, makes measured decisions, doesn't give in to emotions like panic or anger, and has a wide variety of interests and skills.

Aislinn

Themes of masculinity aren't unusual in narratives, but why have them in a book written by a woman and marketed to young girls? What does this market care about symbols of masculinity? Aislinn has to make a choice about what sort of mate she wants in life (especially now that her life is the long one of the fae), and clearly the masculinity of the characters is how she does it. What girl wouldn't take Seth over Keenan? Perhaps the love triangle paradigm of love versus friendship is in reality a veiled message about masculine traits that one should search for in a mate; in that case, one has to applaud Marr for her interpretation of desirable masculine characteristics.

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