Review: KISS OF THE ROSE PRINCESS by Aya Shouoto

Anise Yamamoto's father has warned her that if she removes her rose choker, she'll be cursed by a terrible punishment, which is why she always wears it even in defiance of her school's dress code. But when the choker mysteriously disappears, Anise is suddenly confronted with four Rose Knights, who insist that she's their sovereign. Oh, and they happen to be the four hottest boys at school. Most girls would think this a dream come true, but Anise can't help but wonder if having to put up with these guys is her punishment.

It's been a while since I reviewed a manga, probably because it's been a while since I enjoyed one enough to finish it. Kiss of the Rose Princess is a very promising start to a series, with a great twist on a vampire romance storyline.

Essentially, the Rose Knights are vampires, in that they need to draw blood from Anise in order to wield their powers. At least one of them isn't human, although I'm not sure if that's true of all of them or not.

My favorite of the Rose Knights is Kaede Higa, who's more or less a regular teenage boy. He and Anise are friends... of a sort. If you consider their constant bickering a form of friendship (I love it when the hero and heroine fight in romance novels, by the way).

The other Rose Knights include Mitsuru Tenjo, the class president and most handsome and popular boy at school; Seiran Asagi, a gentle and sweet kid who has allergies (yup, roses... ironic); and Mutsuki Kurama, he of the non-humanness. He's also rumored to be an otaku, but I'm not exactly sure what that's supposed to mean in the context of this book. Whatever it is, it's not good.

Anyway, Kiss of the Rose Princess feels surprisingly modern, mainly because of Anise. She's very independent, good at sports, not interested in putting up with any of Kaede's crap, and quick on the uptake that more penises mean mo' problems. She's not some beautiful and passive princess type.

As for the artwork, I sometimes find graphic novels a little headache inducing, and there are times when the visual storytelling could flow better and be less confusing. But overall it wasn't too bad. I really liked the title pages.

Definitely a promising manga to keep an eye on! The second volume was only just published (in the US, anyway) and a third one is on the way in May, I believe, so it's early days yet, but I can see this series developing into something as addicting as Vampire Knight in future installments.



Discus this post with me on Twitter, FaceBook, Google+ or in the comments below.

Book Review: DEAD, UNDEAD, OR SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN by J. A. Saare

Rhiannon works as a bartender in a strip club and can see dead people. When a group of local vampires decide they need her to help solve the mysterious deaths of some of their friends, her life changes forever.

Dead, Undead, or Somewhere In Between was okay. I've never been a huge UF fan; kick-ass chicks are all well and good, but I can only maintain a limited interest in them (in print--this is another example of me having completely opposite tastes in TV and movies, because on screen I'm a huge fan of this stuff). Also, the tropes of the genre are just too ridiculous. They're like those adventure novels from the '60s where the guy has all these women throwing themselves at him for no good reason; except in UF novels it's a bunch of guys throwing themselves at a woman, and instead of fighting cannibalistic natives she fights vampires. I can handle some UF novels as long as I like the characters and there's plenty of romance (NOT every single male chasing after the one girl character, actual romance, like hearts and flowers and stuff); but while I liked the romance in this book, there wasn't a lot of it, and I thought the main character was a grump.

My general annoyance with these types of books aside, I probably would have enjoyed this particular novel more if I hadn't read the Anita Blake novels before it. I wouldn't call Dead, Undead, or Somewhere In Between derivative of that series, but there were certain scenes that felt like they were imagined directly out the Anita Blake universe, especially the scenes with Goose (a professional necromancer who is paid to settle things with the dead and can raise them and turn them into zombies). Rhiannon also reminded me of Anita Blake; but unlike Anita, who is tough as nails when she needs to be--but most of the time just really sarcastic--Rhiannon simply seemed bad-tempered. She reminded me of a teenager because she was always on bitch mode, and it didn't really seem justified. I can appreciate the fact that she has a temper, but almost everyone I know with a terrible temper seems pretty laid back until something sets them off. It's much more dramatic that way.

The author also hit on some of my personal pet peeves, like overzealous descriptions of clothing. ZOMG. I was literally begging her in my head to quit describing what everyone was wearing, not only because I didn't care and it was totally distracting, but because wearing an outfit consisting entirely of clothes all the same color is not fashion, okay? Honestly, the clothes were just boring, and if you're going to waste my time describing outfits FOR NO REASON, the clothes better at least not be boring.

Aside from what everyone was wearing, I didn't know what the point of a good half of the action was, and the fight scene descriptions were completely nonsensical. I know it doesn't really matter and these novels are really just about chicks kicking ass and then having sex with [insert paranormal creature here], but still. Scenes should, in a perfect world, have a point beyond exposition.

But! There were two things I definitely liked about Dead, Undead, or Somewhere In Between: first, Disco, who is the leader of one the "families" of vampires (why do vampires always travel in packs?). He was so cute and sweet! Second, the ending--about the last twenty percent or so--was where things finally got really interesting. Again, I'm not 100% sure why certain things were going on (why was Rhiannon wearing an obviously evil amulet all the time?), but at least I wanted to know.

So, all my personal grievances aside, those who enjoy urban fantasy and don't have migraine-inducing pet peeves about clothing descriptions probably won't have any problems with this novel. I have a feeling the series might pick up some steam as it goes on. And I want to say thanks to Colette from A Buckeye Girl Reads for convincing me to read this book and not being TOO upset that I didn't like Dead, Undead, or Somewhere In Between as much as she did.

Mina Harker and Dr. Seward: So In Love.

Warning: there is going to be a lot of capslocksia going on in this post.

Sometimes, when I'm reading a book or watching a TV show, my brain gets really bored. As a result, I start inventing storylines in my head--and, since this is me we're talking about, the stories usually have something to do with a secret romance between two characters.

Some people call this shipping (for more about shipping and what it is, read "To Ship or Not To Ship" at Bookalico.us). I call it LOGIC. Or at least in this case I do.

See, lately I've been listening to Dracula on audiobook (it was free), and I swear to Gott--as Van Helsing would put it--that Mina Harker and Doctor Seward are in love. THEY ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER, YOU GUYS!!! Yet I can't find anything on the internet about their secret, burning romance. What the fridge? It's totally obvious.

Don't believe me? Here is my recap of how they fell in love, which seriously reads almost exactly like the start of a romantic comedy:


Meet-cute: Paddington Station. Mina recognizes Dr. Seward immediately from her friend's description of him. He blushes. She blushes. They go to the lunatic asylum where he lives for some reason (because he's crazy?). He's so excited he has to record his thoughts about their meeting IMMEDIATELY.

Mina knocks on the door.

*gasp* "Here she is!" (Seward literally says this--okay maybe not the gasp. But he's obviously P R E T T Y jazzed.)

And they fell in love: Mina walks in, wondering to whom Dr. Seward is talking, but he's alone. He really is crazy! No, he's just recording in his "diary," which happens to be a phonograph. Mina's all, "You keep a diary? I keep a diary!" (And for the same reason--to improve themselves. RME These two already clearly belong together.)

Mina's account:

I felt quite excited over it, and blurted out, "Why, this beats even shorthand! May I hear it say something?" 

"Certainly," he replied with alacrity, and stood up to put it in train for speaking. [Gawd they are so cute.] Then he paused, and a troubled look overspread his face. 

"The fact is," he began awkwardly, "I only keep my diary in it, and as it is entirely, almost entirely, about my cases it may be awkward, that is, I mean…" He stopped, and I tried to help him out of his embarrassment. 

"You helped to attend dear Lucy at the end. Let me hear how she died, for all that I know of her, I shall be very grateful. She was very, very dear to me." 

To my surprise, he answered, with a horrorstruck look in his face, "Tell you of her death? Not for the wide world!" 

"Why not?" I asked, for some grave, terrible feeling was coming over me. 

Again he paused, and I could see that he was trying to invent an excuse. At length, he stammered out, "You see, I do not know how to pick out any particular part of the diary." 

Even while he was speaking an idea dawned upon him, and he said with unconscious simplicity, in a different voice, and with the naivete of a child, "that's quite true, upon my honour. Honest Indian!" [Seward, you are so awkward. Adorbs.] 

I could not but smile, at which he grimaced. "I gave myself away that time!" he said. "But do you know that, although I have kept the diary for months past, it never once struck me how I was going to find any particular part of it in case I wanted to look it up?"

Don't worry, Seward. Mina won't just type up your diary for you, she'll index it according to patient, symptoms and illness.

Which brings me to another reason why Mina and Dr. Seward are in love: they need each other! Mina is so bored with Jonathan she's memorized the train schedules on his commute "just in case he's in a hurry." JESUS, MINA. Memorizing the schedule for your own commute is one thing, but another person's?! I'm guessing Jonathan is able to tell time, get a freaking grip. Dr. Seward, on the other hand, needs someone to help him with his research and, um, you know, play with his phonograph. His work is much more interesting than Jonathan's, and he doesn't commute--he lives at the asylum!

Anyway, Mina and Seward exchange diaries, which is like the cutest thing ever, and Seward gets so wrapped up in Mina's he almost forgets to eat. And Mina gets so wrapped up in Seward's diary she cries and tells him,

That is a wonderful machine, but it is cruelly true. It told me, in its very tones, the anguish of your heart.... See, I have tried to be useful. I have copied out the words on my typewriter, and none other need now hear your heart beat, as I did.

Aww. She can hear his heart beat.

Adjectives Mina uses to describe Seward: noble, good, thoughtful. Adjectives Dr. Seward uses to describe Mina: sweet, a brilliant mind, pretty, courageous. GAH HE'S SO IN LOVE. Dr. Seward also never refers to Mina as a child, unlike SOME people I could name (coughJonathancough).

After a few days at the lunatic asylum, Dr. Seward remarks that having Mina there has made it feel like a home for the first time ever. So cozy (too bad Jonathan Wet Blanket Extraordinaire is there). Then she decides to talk to Renfield, I forget why, and Seward--who's in the room to make sure she's safe--observes, "She came into the room with an easy gracefulness which would at once command the respect of any lunatic."

OHHHHHHH MAH GAWSH coming from Dr. Seward that's like a love poem! He might as well have said, "She walks in beauty, like the night." Even Renfield notices. He's all like, "Wait, are you two going out?"

You see? They're totally in love. So Jonathan's going to die at the end of Dracula and Dr. Seward and Mina are going to get married, right? Right guys?



Have you ever shipped any characters in classic novels?

Weekend Cooking: Food in DRACULA

"I don't drink... wine."

It's not that I pay particular attention to food mentions in books (honest), but in some novels the characters talk about food so often it's impossible not to notice and be slightly weirded out. The Chicagoland Vampires series by Chloe Neill, for instance. And, another vampire book (coincidence?), Bram Stoker's Dracula.

Here are just a few of the food mentions from the part I've read so far (basically Jonathan Harker's journals):

I dined on what they called "robber steak"--bits of bacon, onion, and beef, seasoned with red pepper, and strung on sticks, and roasted over the fire, in the simple style of the London cat's meat!

The wine was Golden Mediasch, which produces a queer sting on the tongue, which is, however, not disagreeable.

I had for dinner, or rather supper, a chicken done up some way with red pepper, which was very good but thirsty. (Mem. get recipe for Mina.) I asked the waiter, and he said it was called "paprika hendl," and that, as it was a national dish, I should be able to get it anywhere along the Carpathians. [Apparently this is actually chicken paprikash.]

I rejoiced to see within a well-lit room in which a table was spread for supper, and on whose mighty hearth a great fire of logs, freshly replenished, flamed and flared.

The count himself came forward and took off the cover of a dish, and I fell to at once on an excellent roast chicken. This, with some cheese and a salad and a bottle of old tokay [Tokaji wine?], of which I had two glasses, was my supper.

He took my arm, and we went into the next room, where I found an excellent supper ready on the table.

I had for breakfast more paprika, and a sort of porridge of maize flour which they said was "mamaliga", and egg-plant stuffed with forcemeat, a very excellent dish, which they call "impletata". (Mem., get recipe for this also.)*

DOOD, SLOW DOWN. Who does Jonathan think he is, Anthony Bourdain? I swear to god all he does is eat. And what the heck is forcemeat? (When I first read that I thought I thought it said "horsemeat" and I seriously wanted to throw up. Maybe it's related to empenadas?)

Anyway, because I'm me, I have to wonder--why all the food mentions? Here are some possibilities I've come up with:

• Bram Stoker was a foodie and couldn't stop himself from writing incessantly about food.
• Jonathan's journals are supposed to imitate a travelogue, and eating weird stuff is one of the great joys and trails of traveling.
• Jonathan's food lust mirrors the Count's lust for blud.
• MOST LIKELY POSSIBILITY: Food, like everything else in Dracula, is a metaphor for sex.

Take, for instance, Jonathan's encounters with the vampiresses, where they "licked their lips like an animal" and sent him into a major spaz attack. Admittedly, that's pretty easy to do with Jonathan, but I think it's clear they think he's appetizing. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. I think, too, all this eating eating eating sets the stage for Jonathan's paranoia that he's about to be the Count's dinner.

Have you ever read a book where the food descriptions seemed out of control, and was it by any chance a vampire novel? Because so far all the ones I can think of are.


*Dying--har har--to make some of these dishes yourself? There's an excellent blog post with the recipes Jonathan mentions at Her Raven Domain.

Review: BITING COLD by Chloe Neill

<<This review may does contain some spoilers, especially for the previous books in the Chicagoland Vampires books.>>

Merit--a grad student in English lit who was turned into a vampire against her will and now wields a katana--and Ethan, her sexy and doubly-undead sire, are on the trail of the Maleficium, an evil book of evilness whose powers Merit's former bestie wants to unleash on the world. But Malory isn't the only person who wants to use the Maleficium; so does former Chicago mayor and crazy person Seth Tate. But for what?

The only reason I wanted to read Biting Cold after Drink Deep (review here) was because I wanted to find out if Ethan was a zombie. I was totally rooting for Zombie Ethan. Unfortunately, he's NOT a zombie. WTF? Total wasted opportunity there. I'm still watching him though. You never know.



Now that we have that linchpin issue out of the way, let's move on the actual book. Overall, Biting Cold is actually better than Chloe Neill's last few books in the Chicagoland Vampires series. The beginning, where Ethan and Merit are traveling together to Nebraska, is pretty strong--Merit and Ethan have great chemistry, and Neill really sucks you straight into the story. That being said, even in this part of the book, there are so many things that are just too convenient for belief. Why are Tate and Mallory waiting until after sunset to look for the Maleficium? Considering Merit and Ethan are dead to the world (har har) during the day, wouldn't it make more tactical sense to try to take the Maleficium while they're asleep? And why does Tate announce to them that he's going for the book--just so they have more time to prepare for fighting two sups instead of one? Awfully nice of him.

Also, giant gumby gnomes? Really cheesy.

Then they go BACK to Chicago, and it's kind of like in Pirates of the Caribbean when the pirates go back to the island and you're like, "Uhg, really? You couldn't have just wrapped up this movie the first time you were on the island?" It feels liked the story takes a gigantic step backward, and as if my time has just been completely wasted. Why didn't Ethan and Merit stay in Chicago and phone the fight in? It would have ended exactly the same way if they had.

As I said, Biting Cold is better than the previous two books in the Chicagoland Vampires series--the food mentions are kept under control, there's more of a plot, and the conversations don't run in circles--but I think this might be my last read in the series. It seems as if there is absolutely no character consistency anymore, and they do whatever is convenient for story. As a result, I don't really care what happens to them (except for Morgan, of course). Oh well.

Review: A DISCOVERY OF WITCHES by Deborah Harkness

Proposed alternate title: Fifty Shades of Sweaters



Diana is a sexually repressed witch and historian who's doing a research sabbatical at Oxford. One day she recalls a rare alchemical manuscript from special collections at the Bodleian, and the next she's being hounded by vampires, daemons, and other witches. Why are they all so interested in a forgotten manuscript? Diana's totally clueless. The only person she trusts to help her is Matthew--a vampire, super scientist, and fine wine connoisseur who is also after the manuscript.

I'm a little torn about A Discovery of Witches. First of all, the writing style drove me crazy. It kind of reminded me of Fifty Shades of Grey (review here). Before you freak out, A Discovery of Witches is NOT similar to Fifty Shades of Grey in any way except: 1. it's obviously "inspired by" Twilight; and 2. the writing sometimes feels like the author is just vomiting up words. The book's almost 600 pages long and it isn't because the plot's complicated.

Now, you might not know this about me, but I favor a less-is-more approach to just about anything, and that includes writing. I refuse to read prologues, I hate flashbacks, and I've been known to DNF books for the sole reason that the unnecessary clothing descriptions were driving me crazy. And there are a hella lot of unnecessary clothing descriptions in this book (how many gray sweaters do these people own?), not to mention nonsensical details of the most random crap imaginable. For example, whenever Diana serves drinks, she takes care to point out that she did so "without spilling a drop." Does she often spill a drop while carrying drinks? If no, why mention it? "I walked across the room without tripping over any furniture, managed not to run into the wall, and then sat down on my ass! And then, when I drove to work, I didn't run over a single person. Hooray!"


Go superstar!

Despite the fact that the writing style made me want to bang my head against a wall, however... I really enjoyed A Discovery of Witches. For one, I have an unreasoning love of books about books. This is why Chamber of Secrets is my favorite Harry Potter novel. And A Discovery of Witches revolves around a book; plus a good portion of it takes place in one of the most kick-ass libraries there is, so I definitely enjoyed that. You really feel like you're in Oxford while you're reading it, which is fabulous.

Two, I am a total sucker for brooding vampires and knights in shining armor, and Matthew is both. Matthew basically makes this book, let's get that clear right now. Yes, he is a clone of Edward Cullen, right down to watching the heroine sleep and refusing to get on with the sexy times because he's hopelessly old-fashioned; but I happen to like Edward Cullen. It's totally easy to fall in love with Matthew, and there is a lot of believable chemistry and romantic tension between him and Diana. Actually, the book overall is very romantic, in the literary sense, right down to damsel in distress and the hero rescuing her.

Furthermore, A Discovery of Witches tells an awesome story. In my experience academic mysteries (which this isn't exactly, but I started it under that assumption) can be really boring. I wasn't bored a single moment while reading this book. It has EVERYTHING. Seriously. Not just witches, daemons, vampires, and magic, but evolution and DNA, secret messages, cabal organizations, the Knights Templar, yoga, a wicked-awesome house that is my favorite thing evar, vampire babies, goddesses, dungeons, ghosts, mothafucking time travel, and Year of the Comet wine.

Honestly, A Discovery of Witches is the most entertaining, escapist, and romantic story I've read in a LONG time, and because of that I'm willing to forgive and forget the writing style (after I finish this review, of course). I would definitely recommend it to anyone who likes to have fun reading a book.

Review: DRINK DEEP by Chloe Neill

Guess what everybody?! I love Ethan now!

Kidding.

Drink Deep is the fifth book in Chloe Neill's Chicagoland Vampires series. Spoiler-free summary: it's about an English lit grad student called Merit who is turned into a vampire against her will, then has to deal with a whole bunch of supernatural drama. In Drink Deep, Chicago is being threatened by an unknown magical force that's turning Lake Michigan black, the sky red, and so on. Naturally, vampires are being blamed for everything, so Merit rides to the rescue.

After Hard Bitten (review here), like most readers I was hoping for some explanation about wtf just happened??? Because wow, that came out of nowhere. Unfortunately, Drink Deep brought on only more head-scratching. All the things that bugged me about Hard Bitten are present in Drink Deep, only they're magnified by the force of Very Weak Plot. After about fifty pages of long, pointless conversations, the obvious villain being obvious, and endless descriptions of eating, I realized that I either had to DNF this book or skim through it like a mutha. I chose the latter, mainly because I was dying to read the ending.

Here are some patterns I noticed while reading:

• Ethan, Gone But Not Forgotten  Hey, did you know Ethan's gone? What are you feelings on that, Merit? We all know how close you two were. I swear to GOD every character has this conversation with Merit at some point in the book. Mallory. Lyndsey. Luc. Dolores Umbridge guy from the GP. Catcher. Jonah. I mean, a conversation reminding us that, yes, Ethan is gone, is one thing; but after the fourth, I started to get a little excitable. And by excitable I mean throwing the book on the floor and running through the house going, "It's happening again! Again again!" and laughing hysterically. It got to the point where I would drink every time the exact phrase "Ethan's gone" appeared in the dialog--and if I'd been drinking something other than water, I'd have gotten really drunk. Instead I just needed to go to bathroom.
  
• Food  I love food as much as the next person, but the food mentions are getting out of control in this series. I don't know what a "red hot" is, but I do know I don't need to read about them every twenty pages. In previous books, the noshing was amusing because it highlighted that Ethan was 1. a prig, and 2. not of this century. Now it feels more like these novels should be renamed Caroline Merit: No Reservations.
• Jonah  As we all know, I'm not a fan of Ethan (see here and here and also here), but he did make the books interesting. He had personality. Jonah, Drink Deep's boy toy du jour, has ZERO personality. I liked him better when he was all grumbly and hated Merit. Does she HAVE to be attractive to every single person with a penis she comes across?
  
• And speaking of characters...  Inconsistency much? It seems like there have been major personality transplants in some of these characters. Take Morgan, for example--he's supposed to be the nice guy option, or at least he was in Some Girls Bite (review here). Now he's being described as having "the attitude of a sulking, bitter teenager." Say what? Mallory, Merit's practical bestie, is suddenly a raving lunatic; and Ethan was apparently off on a retreat to pick up male sensitivity in the twenty-first century. It seems like there are a lot of changes with the characters, but not much development leading up to it.
  

As for the ending, I've read other reviews where it was said the reunion between Merit and Ethan felt emotionally distant. I actually disagree with that; I thought Neill did a good job with the emotional aspects of Ethan's return. But it did seem like Ethan came back to life--if you know what I mean--awfully quickly. Like, aren't there tests someone can do? Take his blood pressure? Once again there wasn't much of an explanation for what happened, but everyone seemed to accept Ethan as hunky-dorey and move on. Basically, that feeling of wtf just happened???? Still having it.

Am I going to read the next Chicagoland Vampires book? Of course! I need to find out if Ethan starts hungering for brrrraaaaiiiiiinnnssss. I hope he does.

Thoughts on NEW MOON by Stephenie Meyer

After seeing Twilight (the movie) on TV, I felt the need to bleach Kristen Stewart's quote-unquote acting from my mind, but I've already read Twilight (the book) three times. So decided to reread New Moon, instead. Bonus: my mom bought me the new edition after I casually mentioned one or six times how incredibly hot Taylor Lautner looked and how I would buy it just for the cover art ALONE! Exclamation mark! Look at him, all muscly and tanned and protecting Bella from the man-with-too-much-eye-make-up-in-the-moon. I think my favorite part of this cover, though, are Jacob's fellow tribesmen looking like they're climbing out of the primordial ooze, protozoic beings not yet evolved into humans. Subtle as always, Hollywood!

To be honest, I never planned on rereading this book, because it's a little hard to take. If any of you have suffered from depression, Bella's reaction to Edward leaving is all too easy to relate to, and I don't think the payoff is that satisfying. There are moments in this novel when it's absolutely impossible not to hate Edward, who not only leaves but takes away Bella's family and the entire future she's dreamed for herself. It takes most of Eclipse for Edward to fully redeem himself for that. Despite that and the fact that it's way too long, however, the novel ends up working. After rereading it, I can see that Meyer put a certain amount of literary ambition into this one.

Once upon a time, there was a young girl who lived at the edge of a great forest...
Like many romances, these books are based on fairy tales. But if Twilight was based on Cinderella--complete with a ball at the end--then New Moon is based on Sleeping Beauty. Bella says several times that she's asleep, and the course of the novel is about her waking up. At first glance, one might assume that Jacob is the prince who wakes her up--but he's not. Bella wakes up before she sees Jacob, when she goes to Port Angeles with Jessica and hallucinates Edward's voice for the first time. "...whether it was the zombies, the adrenaline, or the hallucinations that were responsible--it had woken me up," she says.

That sentence is significant because while Edward is still the fairy tale prince, just as he was in Twilight, he's not the one who saves Bella. She knows she's hallucinating when she sees him and that his voice is only in her own mind. It's actually Bella who wakes herself up--she's the one who decides to buy the motorcycles, she's the one who asks Jacob to fix them, and she's the one establishing the rules of their relationship. She makes the conscious decision to reestablish connections with her friends and family and not go back to the numb sleep-walking state she was in before.

She's also the one who saves the prince at the end of the story, not vice versa. So while New Moon is based on a fairy tale, it also turns the conventions of that fairy tale around. Bella's the hero of her own story, not Jacob or Edward.

Jacob Black: Convenient Plot Device
Speaking of Jacob, you've got to feel for the guy. In Twilight he was a convenient plot device used to clue Bella into the fact that the Cullens were vampires; and in the rest of the series (which, let's face it, is really just the first book re-written with a love triangle and werewolves) he basically serves to help Bella find dangerous things to do, rebel against Edward, and keep Renesme from being eaten by the Pack. But on the plus side, at least he's a convenient plot device with a personality.

I know there are a lot of people who are Team Jacob, especially after New Moon (the movie), which is understandable. But really there was no way he and Bella were ever going to wind up together. I take that back--there might have been a chance if he'd stayed human. But as soon as he turned into a werewolf there wasn't, and I would go further to say that's probably a good thing. As Bella says, "He was not my Jacob," the one she knew before he became a werewolf. The human Jacob had a crush; the werewolf Jacob is closer to obsessed. And Bella only 'needs' him because he keeps the yawning nothingness away, so she's essentially using him. That's not the greatest basis for a relationship.

Past Hope, Past Cure, Past Help
There are a lot of references to Romeo & Juliet in this novel, which I think is quite effective. Not because it feeds into the whole star-crossed lovers thing (since the books have a happy ending that's not very convincing), but because thematically Romeo & Juliet really informs what's going on in this novel.

What was Romeo's and Juliet's major downfall (aside from the fact that they were impatient and overdramatic teenagers with no life experience)? They had no faith in themselves and the people around them, and lost hope that the situation would end favorably. Admittedly, it is pretty difficult to maintain hope when your wife's lying in a coffin, but still. If Romeo had kept his faith in Juliet, then a lot of the things that led to the tragic ending would have been avoided.

Edward and Bella have pretty much the same problem. Edward has very little faith or hope for himself, which is why he leaves at the beginning of the novel. What he does have is destroyed when he hears that Bella killed herself. Bella likewise had little faith that Edward loved her as much as she did him; but it's because Bella allowed her hope to survive--pursued it, in fact, in the form of her hallucinations--that things worked out. During the brief moments when she considers "acting like a grown-up" and being with Jacob, she's really considering giving up hope. It's not Edward that haunts her nightmares but a world without hope.

1 Corinthians 13:13 is one of my favorite quotes ever: "For there are these three things that endure: Faith, Hope and Love; but the greatest of these is Love." Love may be the greatest, but I've always personally believe faith was the most important--because without faith, love can't survive. Meyer seems to be arguing something similar in this book: that hope is the most important, because without hope nothing can endure, not love and certainly not the people who are searching for it.


Although I know there's some controversy regarding Bella's independence, or lack thereof, in New Moon, on the second read I found her to be much stronger than I expected. She fights back against the existential nothingness and chooses to create meaning out of her shell of a life. I would never go so far as to say New Moon is empowering, but I do think the novel makes an argument for the power of faith, hope, love, and never giving up on your dreams, which to me seems a pretty positive message.


Musical notes: "Where is My Mind" by The Pixies

Movie Review: BREAKING DAWN Part 1

Originally Released: 11/18/2011
Starring: Taylor Lautner, Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, also did I mention Taylor Lautner?
Directed by: Bill Condon
Based on: The novel of the same name by Stephenie Meyer

If you go to the theater expecting this movie to be "good," I really don't know what to say to you other than, Have you seen any of the last three movies? Look, there's basically two ways this is going to go: either it's a manflesh fest during which you spend two hours giggling at inappropriate moments, OR it's boring. I'm happy to report I found this movie pretty freaking hilarious. And RPatt and Stewart don't even act as badly as they did in the previous films! WIN.


"Yes, hello, I'm afraid the prognosis is vampire baby."

Let's recap the highlights! Reasons why you should see this movie on as big a screen as you possibly find, maybe even 3-D:

• Taylor Lautner takes his shirt off in the first five seconds. HELLS YES.
• The homoerotic overtones of Edward only 'hunting' men. LOVE IT.
• Virgin hero reference ftw.
  
• I cried three times. Damn you, weddings! *shakes fist*
• Jacob with stubble! *rowl*
  
• Charlie threatening Edward with his gun (I would also like to thank the women I went to see this with for sighing as loudly as they could whenever Charlie appeared on screen. Team Charlie!)
  
• The headboard scene was totally not a metaphor for what I thought it was going to be. Three words: "Ooops." "It's okay."
• The belly rubbing. OH THE BELLY RUBBING.
• This installment of the Twilight ~*Saga*~ brought to you by: Yahoo! And also: Apple, Inc.
• Conversations in wolf MINDSPEAK. Thank god none of them saw a squirrel.
• Drinking blood through a straw, YUM. Totally reached for my Sprite during that one.
  
• Unnecessary artery and bone marrow shots!
  
• Unnecessary and frankly obnoxious use of bokeh!
• BIRTH SCENE! Okay, so it wasn't as gory as I was hoping it would be (why no blood spray, Condon? WHY), but it was still pretty gruesome.
  
• Renesme grows up to be the Anti-Christ and brings about the Apocalypse! Wait, that's the fan fiction I'm writing in my head...
• The Volturi! You can't have a Twilight movie without them! The one on the right is my faaaaavorite.

Now the real question is, what happened in the second half of this book again? Because it seems like they covered 80% of it already, other than Bella yelling at Jacob because he imprinted on her 10-minutes-old baby. I'm guessing there's going to be a lot more of vampires punching wolves in the snout and wolf MINDSPEAK. Also probably more kissing.

Interview: Morgan Greer from Chloe Neill's Chicagoland Vampires series

A visual approximation of Morgan via models.com

To celebrate the release of the fifth book in Chloe Neill's Chicagoland Vampires series, I invited Morgan, the head of Navarre House, over to my blog for an interview. Bonus: this is the first time I've ever interviewed a vampire! (I think...) Check out Morgan's answers and be sure to enter the giveaway at the end of this post!

TBFB: Hi, Morgan! Thank you for talking with me today. You're my favorite character from the Chicagoland Vampire series.

Morgan: Wow, thanks. That's pretty high praise. Especially since everyone is all atwitter about other vampires these days. *Grumbles*

TBFB: Are we going to see more or less of you in Drink Deep?

Morgan: *Scowling* I wouldn't call Drink Deep my high point as a character; Chloe didn't exactly give me a lot of screen time. On the other hand, I have my hands full with all this supernatural weirdness in Chicago and a House to run. Celina was head of Navarre for a long, long time. I'm still playing catch up in a lot of ways.

TBFB: In Hard Bitten, many readers felt like you betrayed Merit. Would you agree?

Morgan: *Paling* Like I betrayed her? Did she act honorably toward me when she was dancing with Ethan? Sneaking around with him after promising--in front of her entire House--to allow me to make a claim? I was humiliated by that, you know. As for betraying her, I act in the best interest of my House. *Shrugs* I guess she can interpret it how she wants.

TBFB: Speaking of interpretation *obvious segue-way*, do you think Celine's actions will help Navarre House in the long run?

Morgan: Celina was a great Master. I'm not saying she's perfect, but look at the status of our House. We're the oldest House in the country, the most prestigious. We have the largest private art collection, an historic home, and we're incredibly financially stable. It's easy to make Celina the fall guy when you don't want to look at your own problems.

TBFB: Moving on to something more personal, are you happy you were changed into a vampire?

Morgan: *Pausing* I'm glad to be alive. I didn't always appreciate that, but I do now. But do I wish I'd had all the information when I made the decision to join the House? Yeah. Yeah, I do.

TBFB: What is the one thing you admire most about Merit? About Celina?

Morgan: Merit always thinks she's doing the right thing. She has a certainty about that that's admirable, even if she's wrong. Celina puts her House first, even if it doesn't reflect well on the other Houses.

TBFB: Thank you so much, Morgan! One last question: have you ever thought about using your vampire powers to help the Cubs win?

Morgan: I have not. But now that you mention it . . .

As part of the Drink Deep blog tour, Chloe Neill is offering a giveaway for a swagpack of Chicagoland Vampires-related material. To enter, fill out the form below, or click here.

Book Review: THE VAMPIRE STALKER by Allison van Diepen

Have you ever...

• imagined a character in a book was your book-boyfriend or -girlfriend?
• gone to a book release party at a bookstore, where you had your copy of the new book reserved so you could get it at exactly midnight?
• canceled all plans or taken off from school or work just so you could read a book?
• refused to speak to your friends until you finished a book so that you could avoid spoilers?
  
• read through a cliffhanger ending and felt like you would seriously die if you didn't find out what happened next???
• jumped online to discuss a book on twitter or message boards as soon you finished it?
• written fan fiction?
• dressed up like a character in a book?
  
• wished you could live in a book?

If you answered no to all of these questions, first of all, you're a freaking liar. And second of all, this book probably isn't for you. If you have done any of these things, however, then Vampire Stalker is way up your alley.

Amy lives in Chicago and is obsessed with the Otherworld series, which is kind of like a combination of Harry Potter and the Black Dagger Brotherhood. Her favorite character is Alexander, a teenager bent killing Vigo, the vampire who murdered his entire family. Then one night, Amy is walking home, and she's attacked by a vampire! And Alexander saves her! How did the characters from the book come to life? And how can Amy and Alexander protect Chicago from Vigo?

When I first started this book, I liked it, but it felt really young and frivolous. I didn't get the attraction to Alexander at all and I wasn't expecting much. BUT THEN, it improved! It became awesome! And what really set this novel apart from just some silly story where Mr. Dream Guy shows up is that it actually offers an explanation for why some books feel so incredibly real and why Alexander and Vigo are suddenly in the "real" world. And the explanation kind of makes sense! Two words: literary physics.

After that, for some reason Alexander started to seem more attractive to me. Maybe it was the fact that the author stopped mentioning he was wearing khaki pants and running shoes. *pauses for tragic fashion shudder* Maybe it was that he started gaining some personality. Whatever it was, he was totally swoon-worthy, and I could completely believe that he and Amy would become a couple.

If you have any love for books at all, I would definitely recommend giving this book a try--it's much better than you think. Thanks to Pam from Bookalico.us for recommending & sending it!



Musical Notes: "Moves Like Jagger," Maroon 5

Book Review: HARD BITTEN by Chloe Neill

WORST. ENDING. EVER.

In book four of the Chicagoland Vampires series, Cadogan House and its fearless leader, Ethan Sullivan, are under threat from politicians local and abroad: Mayor Tate is threatening to arrest Ethan if he doesn't put a stop to dangerous blood raves, and the Greenwich Presidium (kind of like the vampire UN) wants him to mind his own biznas or they're going to take over his House. With Ethan stuck between a rock and a not-so-comfy place, it's Merit to the rescue, hitting the streets of Chi-town in search of raves, drug dealers, and her arch-nem, Celina. Unfortunately, Merit forgot to bring along the little grey cells, so things aren't going so well!

The first half of the book was pretty boring. Nothing happens and I think Merit spends like eighty pages driving around Chicago and talking on her cell phone--that's what it felt like, anyway. Also, there are very drawn-out scenes involving food, which don't seem to have a point. Then she goes to a rave and the plot starts picking up, but the sense making does not.

Here's the thing: there are a lot of convenient plot device (CPD) moments in this book, most of which involve the characters acting inconsistently. Merit's supposed to be really smart, and she has been in the previous books, but in this one she bumbles into offices with no plan, talks without thinking, doesn't listen to her instincts, and generally acts like a dope; and all of this inevitably contributes to the conclusion of the book. Merit's not the only one suffering from alien body syndrome, either: in Twice Bitten, she and Ethan slept together, but then he was like, "Office romance is bad news, babe," and she was all, "NEVER TOUCH ME AGAIN." In Hard Bitten, Ethan wants Merit back, I'm not sure why exactly; and in the interim he's somehow gone through a total personality makeover, where he's not a snobby prig and is actually... um, kinda nice. And sweet. *chokes* Even Merit thinks at some point, "Maybe people can change." Um. Maybe. But probably not people as old as Ethan is. And probably not that much. Did he take a Male Sensitivity in the 21st Century class or what?

Then there's Mayor Tate, who acts like a character straight out of a Spiderman comic; Morgan, who betrays Merit's trust for no clear reason; Celina, who is definitely out of character; Jonah, who conveniently develops the hots for Merit; Paulie, who is ridiculously forth-coming... need I go on?

Now, you all know I'm not a fan of Ethan (see this post, and this one, and also this one), so I'm not against Merit having another romantic interest (Team Morgan! The scene where he took his shirt of=priceless), but the ending of this book took me completely aback because there was absolutely zero set-up. There wasn't even foreshadowing! For four books I saw this series as heading in more or less a certain direction, but now I have no idea. And as a reader, I don't like feeling left out to sea with no idea where a story is going.

What Chloe Neill did at the end of this novel was very gutsy, and I commend her for that. But things like this require at least a little set-up, or your audience gets angry and stops trusting you as a story-teller. On the plus side, I still want to find out why things happened the way they did, and hopefully the next book, Drink Deep, will answer a few--or more than few--questions.

Musical notes: "Judas" by Lady Gaga

Powered by ScribeFire.

My Blood Approves by Amanda Hocking

Category:  I read it so you don't have to.

Setting:  Twin Cities, Minnesota.

Stereotypes:  Gay men like to decorate, paint nails, and cook; vampires live in familial packs; once you go vampire, you never go back; and so many more I could never list comprehensively.

Major likes:  The author has a very sarcastic voice. I suppose I'm kind of a sucker for vampire romances, too.

Major dislikes:  It was really stupid, there were a bazillion grammatical mistakes

Musical Notes:  "Let's Dance to Joy Division," the Wombats




Review

While exploring the city with her friend, a shy high school sophomore named Alice is rescued from gang rape by a handsome vampire named Jack, who introduces her to his extremely attractive family and their fancy house and car collection.  She falls in love with him and his family, only to realize they like her blood more than her personality.

Sound familiar?  Imagine Twilight in Minneapolis, with Edward as a cheerful sk8tr and Jasper having lost Alice, and you get this book.  Granted, My Blood Approves isn't the worst Twilight rip-off I've read, but it is definitely derivative--I was going to list all the similarities, but the prospect was too daunting.  Just be prepared for a lot of obvious connections.

We're all familiar with Amanda Hocking as the amazing self-pub'ed author who sold a bazillion copies of her novels in one day.  Or a weekend, or whatever.  After reading My Blood Approves, I can understand this--for one, the books are dirt cheap.  I paid 99 cents for this one, which I think is less than I burn in gas when I go to the library.  For another, they are very easy to read and satisfying for that fix of romantic teenage angst we all need from time to time.  They're also emptily addicting in the way Christine Feehan's Carpathian novels used to be--you know the books are going to be utter crap, but you buy them and read them anyway just because you know exactly what you're going to get out of them.

If anything else, I learned the value of a good editor while reading this book.  Hocking is pretty good at editing her own work, but like everyone who self-edits, she missed a lot of obvious grammatical errors like "to" when it should have been "too," "then" instead of "than," etc.  There were also some pretty wonky sentences and whole paragraphs that didn't flow logically.  It teeters on the edge of being unreadable, but for the most part remains entertaining because of Hocking's sarcastic voice.  It's when the novel starts taking itself seriously that things go down hill.

Aside from questionable grammar, I was disturbed by several scenes in the book where Alice thinks casually about how she'd rather be dead than apart from Jack or his family (I'm not sure we're ever given last names).  I know teenagers tend to make overdramatic statements like this (I used to be one of those teenagers), but let's not encourage it, okay?  And no, sex is never worth being killed, especially metaphorical sex with an unemployed vampire who spends his entire night playing video games and watching movies.  Standards, people!  At least Edward did something constructive like stare at Bella while she slept.

I don't have much to say about the book beyond that.  If the characters had evolved over the course of the novel, I might feel differently, but as it was this seemed like a really fluffy book about which there's not much to think.  In fact, it seems almost anti-think.  And hey, we all need moments of anti-think, but this is like anti-think on heroine.  It did have moments that I enjoyed, and I can see how a teenage girl would consider it painfully romantic, but I would really rather just reread my own teenage version of it, The Vampire Diaries.

Powered by ScribeFire.

Dracula In Love by Karen Essex

August 29th, 2010

Gentle Reader,

It was but a few hours ago that I finished Dracula In Love by the woman of Independent Means, Miss (Mrs?) Karen Essex.  The novel attempts to tell the story of the vampire Dracula's infamous visit to the Native Shores of England through the eyes of Wilhemina Harker, née Murray.  Although Mina has the untested love of solidly middle-class and unimaginative Jonathan Harker, Esq., she becomes Enraptured by the dubious pleasures of the Flesh after Count Dracula lures her into his toothsome clutches.  Her bestie, Lucy, also becomes embroiled in a Scandalous Affair with a Bold American Gentleman.

Reader, I have come across much disappointment in ye olde bloggosphere in regards to this book, and I regret to say that I share these intrepid reviewers' opinion.  This novel is a mess and completely unsuccessful as a Romance or Vampire novel.  It adds nothing to the myth of Dracula and often comes off as cheesy when it's trying to be spooky.

The largest difficulty for the book are the characters.  Mina is completely uninteresting.  Although she has Frequent Visions, she chooses to ignore them and marry Jonathan like a Proper Young Lady.  This would be bad enough.  But she never changes into a properly wicked woman, and thus remains a complete Yawnfest.  Even after His Lordship Count Dracula appears and saves her from the evil Victorian Menfolk.

Speaking of--as we know, in many Victorian (and modern) novels, women are portrayed as archetypes of either being sweet and innocent, or sexually voracious and Dangerous.  Although perhaps trying to overcorrect this, Essex has committed the opposite but equal sin of presenting the male characters in the book in just such a fashion.  To wit, Jonathan, who is sweet and Innocent before he leaves for Austria (Austria, really?  Let's just suck all the exoticism out of that trip) and becomes quite Dangerous and Untrustworthy after he returns, having experienced the lamias' fellatious acts performed upon his Person.  But 'tis not just Jonathan with whom Mina must be Concerned--every male character is this book is some sort of threat, except for the old gentleman at the Cemetery, who will not be banging anything other than Heaven's Door any time soon.  Morris Quince and The Count are both sexually voracious (or so we are led to believe--actually the Count seems quite normal in his sexual appetites, unless you count the Blood) and of questionable character, while the other male characters repress their sexuality but are arguably of a more immediate Threat.

And this leads me to the biggest disappointment in the novel, Dracula Himself.  Lamest. Dracula. Ever!  He isn't even present for the first two-thirds of the book, and when he did appear in Full Force, I had to cheer.  Yet it quickly became apparent that this Dracula was being played by Sensitive Alpha Male, having left Dangerous Alpha Male in, I don't know, the Land of the Little People, perhaps.  The poor gentleman puts on a good show, but he is totally whipped by a woman who repeatedly rejects him to be a Proper Young Lady.  What kind of relationship is this, anyway?  It's time to move on, brother.

There was one good part of the novel, however--when Mina and Jonathan stay at Lindenwood Asylum, where Doctors Seward and Von Helsinger reside.  This section of the novel was genuinely creepy and for a good fifty pages I thought the author was doing something interesting with the tale of Lucy and Mina and had a genuine Idea rolling around in her head.  In fact, the entire novel would have been better if it had been centered around those chapters.  But Alas, it was not to be.

Dear Reader, I know so many of us love the vampires.  Particularly The Vampire of all the vampires, his royal countiness himself, Dracula.  But it's my firm believe that Ms. Essex doesn't know vampires from pixies and has little insight into Dracula's appeal.  She should stick to straight historical novels next time and I'm sure she will be more successful.  

With sincerity, and many thanks to Carrie from Books and Movies for sending me this book,

Heidenkind

Powered by ScribeFire.

The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner by Stephenie Meyer

I'm sure everyone is familiar with the premise of this book by now, so let's just cut to the chase, shall we?

What I liked:

This is a very quick read.  I think I read it in three hours or less.

I liked seeing how vampires who aren't perfect tree huggers with superpowers live.

What I didn't like:

It's a good thing this book was so short, because otherwise I doubt I would have finished it.  I didn't feel any emotional connection with the main character or narrative tension in the story--and it wasn't just because I already knew certain things the characters didn't.  Meyer could have played with that, but instead she made every step in the plot painfully obvious and as a result it was pretty bland and uninteresting.  Yawn.

And I know y'all will be shocked by this, but once again the Cullens are made out to be perfect little loving balls of light.  It kind of made me sick.  And since when is Edward a redhead?

What I hated:

The cover.  I know it fits in with the whole white/red/black thing going on with the other books, but visually it's pretty lame.  And there's a scene from the book that I think would make a way better cover.  If I had PS on this computer, I'd totally make my own cover for this novella.

What I loved:

Fred!  He was awesome, and the only character in the entire book who was even vaguely interesting.  I very much wish this book had been about him.

I also enjoyed learning random sparkly vamp facts such as their kissing sounds like two stones smacking together.  Can you imagine the soundtrack in vampire porno movies?

Basically....

Not that I was expecting much from this novella, since it is so short, but I think it was a missed opportunity on Meyer's part.  She could have at the least made it interesting, perhaps drawn some parallels between the coven and gang psychology, or the young vampires' bloodlust and drug use, or something; but she really couldn't do much with the coven or bloodlust, because she working so hard to make Bree likable.  As a result, Meyer removed Bree from nearly all coven-related activity and, like the cheese she's named after, made her soft and bland.  And a victim, even before she meets the Volturi.  HM OKAY. 

I'm really glad I got this book from the library instead of buying it.

Powered by ScribeFire.

Rosario + Vampire, Volume 3, by Akihisa Ikeda

I'm happy to report this manga keeps getting better.

When we last left our friends at Yokai Academy--a school for monsters, where the only human is freshman Tsukune--our motley band of heroes was being threatened by the school "enforcers," who had discovered Tsukune was human.  Or had they?  After Tsukune is beaten up and comes close to death, Moka, a cute vampire, pumps vampire blood into his veins and suddenly he's totally kick-ass!  Yeah, Tsukune!!!  Of course, Moka still has to save him in the end, but at least he got in a few punches.

In the latter half of the manga, word has spread around the school that Tsukune beat up the school bully.  The captain of the wrestling team is shocked and wants Tsukune to join his team.  Being no dummy (unlike the captain), Tsukune refuses, which eventually leads to him getting another dose of vampire blood from Moka and kicking the captain's trolly buttocks. 

What are the effects of all this vampire blood, you might be wondering?  Well, so far no one knows.  Tsukune himself doesn't remember becoming a vampire and the fact that Moka bit him without permission causes something of a rift in their relationship.  But don't worry, after a few minutes Tsukune appears to return to his completely normal, human self.

In the last chapter, Tsukune is tutored by the sexy math teacher who likes her students to be very, very obedient.

As you can probably tell, the characters are developing more now and the formula is starting to become interesting.  I have to say I found this volume to be very exciting and fun to read, and Tsukune is simply adorable.

As for the objectification of the female characters, there were six gratuitous panty shots (a good half of them for poor Kurumu).  Don't even get me started on the cleavage.  And the math teacher is a dominatrix.  Other than that, though, there's not as much creepy sexual stuff going on in this volume as there was in the previous one, which is fine with me.

So far this manga is definitely on an improving trend, and I can't wait to see what comes up in the next volume.

Powered by ScribeFire.

Twice Bitten by Chloe Neill

I still hate Ethan.

In the third Chicagoland Vampires book, our heroine, Merit, spends most of her time exploring the world outside Cadogan vampire house--she's invited to join the Red Guard, which is kind of like the Praetorian Guard of the vampire world; and she is further drawn into the world of the shifters, who are meeting in Chicago to decide whether to face the coming war as allies of vampires, or retreat to their isolated base in Alaska. 

As for Merit's love life, with Morgan (sigh) out of the picture, you can guess who takes lusty center-stage: the master with the mostest, Ethan.  I'll let you read the book to find out what happens there.

Twice Bitten is better than its two predecessors in the series, Some Girls Bite and Friday Night Bites, which is saying a lot.  The story moves along very quickly and there aren't a lot of lulls in the action.  That being said, I did start to get bored in the middle--mainly because of stupid Ethan.  If I never have to read him whining about his responsibilities to Cadogan House blah blah blah again, I will be more than happy.  In the previous novels I found him annoying; now he's just boring.  Yawn.

In her review of this novel, Colette from A Buckeye Girl Reads reminded me that I asked Chloe Neill about Merit's fascination with the tale of Tristan and Isolde and whether it would have any bearing on the story.  At this point, I'm not sure how it could, unless there's a more interesting love interest waiting in the wings for Merit, or Morgan is still a possibility.  If you're not up on ye olde Arthurian tales, Tristan and Isolde is a tragic love story.  Isolde is betrothed to King Mark, who lives in a far away country.  The king asks his nephew, Tristan, to escort his fiance to his kingdom so that they can get married; on the way, the two youngsters fall in love.  Although Isolde still marries King Mark upon her arrival, she can't help her love for Tristan, and they continue their affair.  Inevitably the king finds out, however, and while he forgives Isolde, Tristan is banished from the kingdom.

Isolde shouldn't be confused with Iseult, whom Tristan marries after his banishment because he likes the similarity of her name with Isolde's.

So if the books at all mirror this legend, wouldn't you think Morgan is Tristan?  Because Ethan is definitely the king, and he did ask Morgan to "escort" Merit around before she moved into Cadogan House.

That's really all I have to say about Twice Bitten, other than wonder exactly how long this series is going to go on for.  If there's going to be a huge war between sups (supernaturals) and humans, and Merit is going to save the Apex's son, then that's a looooong stretch of time.  And while I do really and truly enjoy these books, ever since Anita Blake, I've been leery of long-running series.  I don't want to be borrowing these novels from my mom ten years from now and reading about how Merit's slept her way from Chicago up to Milwaukee, okay?  Let's keep the love interests to half a dozen at most.

Anyway.  You should read these books.  The end.

Powered by ScribeFire.

Tasha's Guide to Not Reading the Dark Side

Have you ever read a book that really pissed you off just on principle?  I recently finished Jessica's Guide to Dating the Dark Side, and let me tell you--to anyone who thinks Twilight "sends the wrong message to young girls," I challenge them to read this novel and then tell me how bad they think Twilight is.

The novel itself is pretty shallow, as one can guess from the summary: "Marrying a vampire definitely doesn’t fit into Jessica Packwood’s senior year 'get-a-life' plan. But then a bizarre (and incredibly hot) new exchange student named Lucius Vladescu shows up, claiming that Jessica is a Romanian vampire princess by birth—and he’s her long-lost fiancé. Armed with newfound confidence and a copy of Growing Up Undead: A Teen Vampire’s Guide to Dating, Health, and Emotions, Jessica makes a dramatic transition from average American teenager to glam European vampire princess. But when a devious cheerleader sets her sights on
Lucius, Jess finds herself fighting to win back her wayward prince, stop a global vampire war—and save Lucius’s soul from eternal destruction."

It sounds silly but essentially harmless.  I would argue it's hardly the latter.

First, the cover:  The main character, Jessica, is a size ten.  Does the girl on the cover of this book look like a size ten to you?  As Carrie from Books And Movies pointed out, plus-sized and overweight characters are often "white-washed" off the covers of their own books.  Size ten isn't overweight by any means, but I bet it's about eight sizes larger than the model on the cover.  I found myself wondering how this connects to the book itself, where the character doesn't eat because she thinks she needs to lose some weight.  Which brings me to a second major problem with the book...

The hero, Lucius:  Putting aside how cheesy he is (which of course doesn't really bother me) and how the way he speaks can go from fresh-off-the-boat to MTV Cribs in a single sentence, the guy's an arsehole.  He judges the heroine on how she dresses and behaves, and subsequently lectures her on the correct way she should be dressing, acting, eating, etc., going so far as to actually buy her clothes for her (and was that dress really appropriate for a carnival?  Really?)  You ladies all know how attractive a lecturing male is!  Although some of his words may have been that Jess needed to accept herself, the actual message was that she needed to accept Lucius' view of herself.  Plus, he was a serious stalker.  Edward Cullen's got nothing on this guy.

Violence=Good:  Jessica's parents are tofu-eating, organic farming types who don't believe in violence.  Lucius is a vampire who solves almost every problem through violence.  The parents are repeatedly made fun of for their passive attitude toward violence.  And, when Lucius intervenes on Jessica's behalf against a bully (after her repeatedly telling him it was none of his business) by tossing him around and threatening to do more, he is painted as a hero while the "Jacob" character who did nothing is somewhat vilified for being passive. 

Marriage:  I don't have anything against marriage on principle, but would any mother in America seriously encourage her 17-year-old daughter to marry a guy she only just met and move to Europe, let alone a guy as controlling as Lucius, with the words, "You'd be surprised how often disgust turns to lust"?  Uhg, are you SERIOUS????  Don't worry sweetie, you'll want to fuck him eventually no matter how much he disgusts you!  Because it's twu lurv. *GAG GAG GAG GAG*


Other than those four things, there were inconsistencies of logic, tone, and the characters were poorly drawn and thought out.  However, I don't think I would have hated this book half so much if the above issues weren't present. 

This book is insanely dumb. I do not recommend anyone buy it.

Powered by ScribeFire.

Rosario + Vampire by Akihisa Ikeda

This is a very fun, cute manga, although it's insanely repetitive and I'm not sure I want to keep reading it.

Average guy Tsukune can't get into a decent high school, so he finds himself enrolled in Yokai Academy, the only place that will accept him.  At Yokai, Tsukune is anything but average--because he's the only human in the entire place!  Unbeknownst to Tsukune or his parents, Yokai is a high school for supernatural creatures who need to learn how to integrate with the human population.  Because of this, they're supposed to keep their monster identities under wraps--but very few of them can keep to this rule.

Fortunately for Tsukune and his continued bodily existence, the first day he arrives he meets Moka, a cute vampire girl.  Moka and Tsukune become fast friends.  Then for the rest of the series, Tsukune is lured into danger by some monster (usually female), Moka gets offended, then winds up changing into her kick-ass vampire form so she can save him from said monster.

I like formulas as much as the next person (perhaps more), but when a formula is already predictable and boring by chapter two, that's a problem.  This manga became repetitive very quickly, and while I really liked the characters and found Yokai Academy and the art work to be quite charming, I got pretty bored with the story line.

Another thing that started to bug me about this manga is how sexually objectified the young girls are.  There's an entire chapter where the plot revolves around peering up the girls' skirts.  It would be pretty obvious the author was male even if we didn't know who wrote it.  I also find it very interesting that all the girls at Yokai--who for the most part very sexually aggressive--are all MONSTERS.  Even though there's no overt sex in this manga, it's very sexually suggestive--but in strange, creepy ways.

I can see why this manga is so popular, but I'm not sure I want to continue with it.  Not because of the sexual objectification stuff, because that's a relatively minor part of the stories, but mainly because the formula is already wearing on me.  That being said, if I was younger I could see myself enjoying this series A LOT, so I think I actually would recommend it to people who are interested.

Powered by ScribeFire.

Twilight: The Completely Unnecessary Graphic Novel Edition

In her campaign to be the richest woman in America after Oprah, Stephenie Meyer now has a $20, hardcover, multi-volume, graphic novel of her famous book out.  The bad news is, it's not an improvement on the actual novel and feels kind of self-indulgent.  The good news is, the art is fab and Edward doesn't look or act like RPatt--he looks and acts like Edward.  Huzzah!

You probably know the premise of the story by now:  shy teen girl falls in love with brooding vamp.  Proposed alternate title:  Love Among the Tree Monkeys (ha! I kid because I love).

I did like this adaptation better than the movie version, but it stayed very close to the book--too close, actually.  It tended to get a little jumpy, and if I hadn't been familiar with the story already, I would have been lost in certain places.  But really, is anyone not familiar with the original novel going to pick this up?  Not likely. 



The art for the most part is gorgeous and makes this book actually kind of a joy to read.  The only thing I didn't like is where the artist, Young Kim, mixes photography with drawings--you can kind of see that in the example above, in the hospital corridor.  For some reason that made me really nauseous, especially the food in the restaurant scene.  Blech.

The best part of the whole book, though, is Young Kim's dedication at the back.  Here's my favorite part:  "When the story started out, neither Bella nor Edward believed they could find happiness because they were different from others.  But now, we are learning to see glimpses that they may indeed be able to find happiness together.  To the reader, I sincerely hope that your own unique nature is loved, particularly by yourself."  Aw!  That gets me all teary-eyed.

Overall I would say the book is not worth the list price, but if you're a Twi-hard you'll want to read it.  So get it from the library or buy it used online.

Powered by ScribeFire.