Schnauzer Saturday

Pearl with a fancy Spring kerchief and a new haircut!

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SNOWBALL IN HELL by Josh Lanyon

Detective Matthew Spain is a widower and former Marine in 1943 Los Angeles when he comes across the strangest murder he's ever seen: a body dumped in the La Brea Tar Pits. Fortunately, Nathan Doyle, a war reporter recently injured and relocated stateside, is on hand and immediately starts acting suspicious. It turns out he knew the victim and was possibly the last one to see him alive. Not only that, he's clearly hiding something. Is Matthew's attraction blinding him to the fact that Nathan's the killer???

This is a re-release by Lanyon in anticipation of what is apparently going to be a new series. It doesn't have the hip edginess of The Dickens with Love or the sharp wit of the Adrien English novels, all of which are set in the modern-day and told in the first person. That being said, I did really enjoy Snowball in Hell, and it's entirely due to the characters. I absolutely love Matt and Nathan, and even Matt's partner, Jonesey.

The protagonist of the story is definitely Matt, who has sort of an everyman vibe. He was married to a woman he fell in love with high school, but has always been attracted to men. This isn't something he acted on, however, until meeting the suicidal Nathan, who is obviously the "snowball" in this scenario. I'm not sure Matt could have chosen a worse boyfriend, in all honesty, and am still not entirely certain what the attraction is on Matt's part, but whatever. Even though Nathan is unstable, the story needs his manic always-on-the-edge-of-death-ness to balance Matt out.

The setting is interesting. It's not palpably 1940's Hollywood--it's not a literary version of film noir--but Lanyon does use plenty of old timey words and lingo I had to look up, and the time period and place is integral to the story line. I can definitely picture this as a black-and-white movie in my head.

The conclusion left me unsatisfied. I wanted to see Matt chew Jonesey out for dropping the ball on the investigation! I wanted Nathan to have an internal realization that yes, life is worth living. But most of all I wanted some sort of conclusion to Matt and Nathan's affair. Can these two crazy kids continue their relationship? At the novel's end, I had my doubts, but I'm more than willing to root them on.

Snowball in Hell does have problems with pacing and the mystery isn't that mysterious, but overall it was an entertaining read with characters I want to know more about. I can't wait to spend more time with Matt, Nathan, and hopefully Jonesey in the next book.

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THE GIRL WHO KICKED THE HORNET'S NEST Movie Review

Proposed alternate title: OLD MEN WITH GUNS



In the last of the Millennium movies (based on the novels by Stieg Larsson), Lisbeth is under arrest for attempting to kill her criminal mastermind father, Zalachenko, and it's possible she could return to the mental institution run by Dr. Teleborian, who tormented her for 2 years when she was a child. Don't worry, though, Mikael is coming to the rescue with an exposé about how a secret section of the government maneuvered to have Lisbeth declared legally incompetent in order to protect Zalachenko.



This movie was pretty good, even though the plot is sort of impenetrable. That doesn't really matter, though, because all the important parts make sense: we know Lisbeth is in danger and that Mikael is trying to save her. There are some awesome new characters, like Lisbeth's doctor at the hospital, Jonasson, whom she should marry and have a dozen children with. There's also the creepy psychologist who molested her while she was in a mental institution, Dr. Teleborian, who looks like someone tried to create a Frasier clone in a lab experiment and it went terribly wrong; and Annika, who's Mikael's sister and agrees to be Lisbeth's lawyer.

Finally, there's Mikael, who only sees Lisbeth twice during the entire course of the movie, but spends all his time busting ass to make sure she doesn't 1. get murdered by her half-brother; 2. disappear into Teleborian's crazy house; or 3. get convicted of attempted murder. He and Lisbeth are such a mismatched pair, but as with the other films, you really feel a connection between them. I absolutely loved the courtroom scene where they stared at one another while Mikael testified, and the final scene in the movie was priceless. Not exactly what I was hoping for with these two (maybe a hug or something? no? okay then), but perfect for their characters.

Of course, the star of the show is Lisbeth. I love her! Who wouldn't? She's sooo kick-ass. I mean, look at what she wears to a trial where she's the defendant (above). LIKE A BOSS. She's also super-smart and doesn't make nice for anybody. At the same time, there's a purity to Lisbeth, which is what I think attracts Mikael and what he's trying to protect. As the prosecutor observed at one point in the movie, "She's surprisingly fragile and delicate. Like a child." Lisbeth's NOT a child, and she's more than capable of taking care of herself, but the innocence and fragility that she lost when she was a child because no one protected her is still there, somehow. I think this is why Mikael and Lisbeth's relationship is the way it is: Mikael is kind of like a knight in shining armor trying to protect his lady, and that means not imposing on her, sexually or personally.

The only thing I found hard to believe was that Lisbeth would capitulate on showing the video of herself being raped, or telling the entire world her life's story in Millennium. I can understand that circumstances seemed to demand it, but it still seemed out of character; and furthermore, they never show her agreeing to do so. They just have Mikael handing it off and saying, "Lisbeth says you can show this if you need to." Really?! Does she really, Mikael??

Other than that, though, I definitely recommend this movie and the previous two in the series. They're not exactly happy viewing, but they are suspenseful and entertaining.

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Schnauzer Saturday

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ATTACHMENTS by Rainbow Rowell

The year is 1999. After spending many years in school, Lincoln has returned to his hometown. He lives with his mom and has an incredibly stupid, boring job preparing a local newspaper for Y2K (pointless, as we all know) and enforcing the office's e-mail policy. The only highlights of his life are his mom's cooking, and reading e-mails between Beth and Jennifer, a movie reviewer and copy editor who enjoy complaining about their lives over their work e-mail. As Lincoln reads Beth and Jennifer's e-mails, he starts to feel like they're his friends, and he starts wishing he'd have the chance to meet Beth because he loves her sooooooo much.

As you can probably tell from the synopsis, this is a very sweet book. It's basically chick-lit, but with a guy as the protagonist (dude lit?). I would describe it as being like The 40-Year-Old Virgin, but with a twenty-nine year old who isn't a virgin (though through no virtue of his own). When the book starts, Lincoln seems pretty pathetic. And by pretty, I actually mean reeeeaaaally. He just got out of school, has a job a monkey could do where he doesn't talk to anyone, and is still hung up on a girlfriend he had in high school. He doesn't seem to have any friends or interests; he's a lump. As the book goes on, Lincoln gradually makes some friends, but goes into a guilt spiral because he's been reading Beth's and Jennifer's e-mails for months without sending them warnings for non-work related content.

This wasn't a terrible book by any means--there were definitely a few funny parts, and I warmed up to Lincoln eventually. But I never warmed up to Beth, who spends nearly the entire book in a dead-end relationship, yet still hoping to marry Mr. Rocknroll, even though she has completely checked out of his lifestyle and seems to be dialing in their relationship. I understand the attraction, but how long it went on confused me, seeing as how Beth is no doormat. I got bored with Beth and Jennifer's e-mail correspondence (why do they never sign up for hotmail accounts?), as well as Lincoln's flashbacks of his ex.

That being said, the ending ALMOST makes up for it all. It is soooo sweet and romantic. But I thought it was undercut by the dragging out of Beth's relationship for no reason that I could see other than the author was afraid Beth would look like a floozy (10 points for channeling grandma words! drink!) if she went from one guy to another. I understand that the purpose of this book is to be light and sweet and fluffy, but I can't help thinking it would have been much more dramatic and interesting if Beth and Lincoln had gotten together earlier in the book.

I feel like there was a huge disconnect for me in regards to this novel. I don't know if it was because the book was too sweet, not romantic enough, or set in 1999 (still scratching my head over that one), but I feel like I didn't get it. Maybe there isn't even anything to get. However, I can see why other people like this novel, and if it sounds interesting to you, you should go for it.

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ROPE Movie Review

Two high-society prep-schoolers murder someone just for fun, then hold a party with the corpse in the room. Will the party guests--most particularly their former professor--find them out? Or will they get away with murrrrrderrrr?

This is one of Alfred Hitchcock's lesser-known movies, but I think it's one his best. It's shot in an interesting way, is very suspenseful, and poses some interesting ideas related to nihilism and intellectualism run amok.



Brandon and Philip went to prep-school together and obviously developed a very close relationship. And by close I mean I kept waiting for them kiss all during the movie. They stand really, realllly near one another. Oh, and when Philip decides he wants to kill someone just so he can see if he can get away with it (not that he has much doubt), Brandon of course agrees to help.

But Philip can't just kill someone; he has to tempt fate by hosting a party immediately afterward, to which he invites his victim's parents and girlfriend, and one of his old professors. In a way he's showing off what he did to the professor, who gave him all his highfalutin' ideas about superiority. In another way it's almost like a wake, with the corpse in the room and food being served on top of his coffin. The guests talk about the victim an awful lot, not that one notices in the movie, because David--the murderee--is at the forefront of one's mind. If they talked about something else, it would be boring!

As the soirée goes on, however, the professor (played by Jimmy Stewart) begins to suspect what Philip and Brandon have done. It's like Dumbledore realizing Tom Riddle is actually Voldemort.

In all honesty, Jimmy Stewart isn't that great in this. His character is supposed to be a super-intellectual professor who believes in Nietzsche's doctrine of the "superbeing"--people who are above morals and tolerance and things like that (naturally he thinks he's one of these superbeings). Plus Stewart's supposed to have had an affair with Philip and/or Brandon. But Stewart is such an aw-shucks boyscout you don't get any of that in the movie. He does make a great detective, though. I wonder why they didn't just change it so he was a DT Philip had cultivated for his eventual murderous triumph?

I really loved how this was shot. It was done entirely in "real time," something Hitchcock had been playing with since The Lady Vanishes. He did a series of "long shots," one after another, until a reel of film ran out (this is why some shots end focuses on strange objects, like the back of a jacket). I think this really added to the tension of the movie. Also, for much of the film the chest with David's body in it is placed just on the lower edge of the screen, so that it's always in view--and always on the viewers' minds.

Did I mention this was also Hitchcock's first color film? It's a strange choice for a first color film, because all you really see is the inside of the apartment, and Hitchcock kept the color deliberately muted. But the there's a large window in the apartment that looks out on a (obviously) miniature model of New York City, and it's fabulous! The New York City of dreams. The backdrop changes as it get progressively later to reflect the setting sun and that's mainly where we get to see the spectacle of technicolor--that backdrop would never work in a black and white film.

Hitchcock called Rope a stunt, but I think it's much more than that. It's a clever movie--with some serious over-acting at the end, it's true, but for the most part it's a lot of fun to watch and I highly recommend it.

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Schnauzer Saturday

Pearl wasn't expecting to be greeted by a camera when she emerged from under the bed.

And if you haven't already, check out Pearl's guest-blogging debut at Coffee with a Canine!

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