Review: HEARTS OF FIRE by LH Cosway

Lille has spent her entire life living under her mother's thumb, friendless and craving adventure in Nowheresville, Ireland. So naturally when she gets the chance to run away with the circus, she takes it. But all is not quirky characters and crazy balloon animals in the Circus of Spectacularly Awkward Social Situations–the fire breather, Jack McCabe, keeps staring at her; one of the psycho trapeze artists has Lille in her jealous sights; and the circus itself is haunted by a murrrrrrrrderrrrrrrr. Will the sparks between Lille and Jack turn into a fire of passion? Will the murder no one really cares about be solved? Questions!

So, this book is basically Twilight. Jack stares at Lille constantly in the first quarter of the novel, follows her around and won't leave her alone, yet tells her she should stay away from him. Why? She doesn't want to know, she's too sweet and innocent. But while he manages not to lose control with other women, he just knows that with her, he will! And then she'll realize his horrifying secret (hint you don't need: burning people gets him off. He's a fire breather, for god's sake).

But then of course he does tell her, and Lille's like, "Oh, that's a little scary but I twust woo," and then she decides she likes getting hot wax poured on her, so. Hashtag tru luv.

In case you couldn't tell, I had some problems with Hearts of Fire. I actually almost DNF'd it in the beginning, but I forced myself to continue and was lured into a sense of complacency when the book picked up slightly after Lille joined the circus. By the end, though, I was wishing I'd listened to my instincts and moved on to something else before I'd wasted a good two weeks of my life on it.

The Twilight thing actually didn't bother me that much–I enjoy Twilight. What bothered me was the tons of telling-not-showing, the weirdo Captain Obvious statements, and the lack of plausibility and character development.

Let's take one example. After Lille joins the circus, she watches Jack feed the lions (why is he feeding them? Who knows) and thinks to herself, "The sight of such a strong, vital man feeding a strong, vital animal was kind of arousing in a strange way."

Uhg, Lille. First of all, everything seems to arouse you. It's kind of ridiculous. Secondly, I get the fact that this scene underscores Jack's masculinity without being hit over the head with it. JACK/LION=STRONG, VITAL. There's no need to be repetitive repetitive.

Thirdly, um what?

The entire book is filled with statements like that. "It was like masturbation for artists: draw the thing that turns you on." Pretty sure that's not how it works, but okay. Perhaps sentences like this were meant to be sexy but I'm not sure.

The point is, the writing was pretty damn shaky, but I was liking the story okay and Jack had his moments. Then around the 60% mark, Lille started really annoying me with her illogical reactions to deus-ex-machina plot developments. The book limped along for a while after that, until Jay Fields (hero of Six of Hearts and Jack's long-lost brother) showed up, at which point it completely stopped. The scene where Jay gathered the entire Circus Awkwardis together to reveal the killer was probably one of the most patience-trying scenes I've ever read in my life. It took me three days to force myself through it. And don't even get me started on the obvious setting up of King as Cosway's next romantic hero.

I still think Cosway's an excellent writer, but it feels like she's churning out books too fast to really consider her characters, work on the plot of each book, and polish up her writing. Like with Six of Hearts, Hearts of Fire is a story that seems like it had potential (although a lot less potential than Six of Hearts), but it was just slap-dashed together. And is it just me, or does it feel like Cosway's writing the same book over and over lately? Wasn't the hero of The Hooker and the Hermit also a closet BDSM-er? (Kidding, that wasn't a question. I know he was.)

I probably won't read Cosway's next book in this series, King of Hearts, unless by some miracle it happens to be better than Hearts of Fire. Maybe once Cosway finishes up this series she'll get back into her groove.


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Review: THE HOOKER AND THE HERMIT by LH Cosway and Penny Reid

Annie Catrel, secret celebrity blogger and social media expert, loves making fun of stars' poor fashion choices. But when she posts a pic of someone who may or may not be Colin Farrell (he's not), the real celebrity–Irish rugby hooker Ronan Fitzpatrick–blows a gasket and sends her a VERY nasty email. Annie would love to respond by posting it online and publicly shaming him, but she can't. Because he's just hired the PR firm she works for to improve his image, and she's been put in charge of his account. Will Ronan figure out Annie's "the Socialmedialite," and will Annie come out of her shell enough to let him in? #willthesetwocrazykidsgettogether

This review is going to have some mild spoilers. It just is. If you want to read The Hooker and the Hermit completely free of any plot reveals, go and do that, and THEN come back and read my review, okay? I'll wait. Take your time.

Are you back? Okay, let's do this thing.

The Hooker and the Hermit is LH Cosway and Penny Reid's answer to Fifty Shades of Grey. You've got your young, lip-biting female who isn't very confident; and you've got your stalkery rich guy who wears nice suits, drives fast cars, and whose "deep dark secret" is that he's into BDSM (or, as Ronan takes care to point out, technically it's just bondage and dominance... like in FSoG, really). But since this is Cosway and Reid writing, the characters are quirky yet sympathetic, the story is fun, and the bondage thing makes sense.

I have to admit The Hooker and the Hermit had me from the word go because I'm pretty sure Annie's my fictional doppelgänger. This was my mom's face when I told her Annie reminded me of myself (my mom and I occasionally read the same books):

For example, Annie strategically picking a seat next to the exit so she can leave as quickly as possible, if necessary. This is something I do ALL THE TIME. Also: refusing to make eye contact in order to avoid being drawn into conversation with strangers. I wouldn't say I do that all the time, maybe more like 80% of the time, and mostly at Walmart. In any case, I immediately identified with Annie and found her adventures in the first part of The Hooker and the Hermit to be pretty hilarious.

Then I got to the middle of the book and things started falling apart. First of all, I found the fact that Annie let Ronan's mom bully her into breaking up with him–in less than three minutes, no less–irritating. For the past fifty pages these two have been like a couple out of the sweetest, sappiest romcom in history; and then suddenly she walks out on him in the middle of lunch just because his mom, who is CLEARLY trying to manipulate her, throws some shade? Eye roll. You just lost me. THEN, three pages later, Annie's tells Ronan, "Oh, I knew she was just being a bitch and you're nothing like that, but I still think we belong in different worlds and it's better for us to stay apart." Wha-huh? Obvious deus-ex-machina to keep the characters from having sex even though there is no logical reason why they wouldn't at this point is obvious.

Secondly, in the second half of the book Annie's hermit-like ways are treated as a symptom of her psychological problems and fucked up childhood. UHG WHY. I know it brings some dramatic tension to the story, but drawing a correlation between being a hermit and having something be wrong with her was just lazy plotting, in my humble opinion. It reduces that aspect of her personality to little more than a gimmick.

On the plus side, though, at least Cosway and Reid didn't imply BDSM was a good substitute for psychotherapy, or that Ronan was into bondage because was abused as a child. So I guess one of these characters got a free pass.

The ending felt like it dragged on interminably and I almost lit my Kindle on fire when I saw there was an epilogue; but for the most part, The Hooker and the Hermit was a very enjoyable, successful collaboration between two authors whose work I really enjoy. I hope Cosway and Reid decide to write another novel together in the future (unless it stars the secondary characters from this novel, that would be annoying).


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Review: SIX OF HEARTS by LH Cosway

When street magician and illuuuuuuuusionist Jay Fields walks into the law offices of Matilda’s father, little does she know Jay will change her and her father’s lives. Although her father refuses to represent Jay against a newspaper in a libel case, it just so happens he has a room to let in their home, and Jay is in need of a place to live. As Matilda and Jay spend more time together, their mutual attraction becomes undeniable, but Matilda senses there’s more to Jay’s libel case than meets the eye. Will Matilda still want him once Jay pulls the curtain on his final trick?

I do enjoy LH Cosway’s novels, but Six of Hearts just didn’t come together for me. It’s a good thing this novel was obviously a revenge story (I’m a sucker for revenge stories), or I might have drifted off to another novel before I finished it.

My biggest problem with Six of Hearts was plausibility. I had a very difficult time buying into some of the things that happened early in the book—for example, the third bedroom that Matilda’s dad was trying to rent. It was way too convenient, not to mention weird. Or like when Jay easily convinced Matilda to go to a casino to “make money” for a sewing machine she’d been saving up for—one doesn’t gamble to “make money,” unless one is planning on cheating. That’s just common sense, and I found it difficult to believe that Matilda, who was clearly a planner and conservative spender, would so easily agree to risk her savings that way.

And then there was Matilda’s refusal to recognize Jay’s attraction to her, which was INSANELY obvious. I mean, I get that she’s shy and not very confident, but 200 pages was way too long to drag that shit out, especially when the guy in question was taking her out on dates, spooning with her in bed, acting all jealous when she saw other guys, etc. etc. Newsflash: HE LIKE-LIKES YOU, GIRL. YOU’RE JUST BEING STUPID NOW.

I also didn’t find the main characters to be as well-drawn as in previous Cosway novels like Still Life with Strings and Painted Faces. For an illuuuuuuusionist, Jay didn’t seem to do many tricks. I did like that Matilda had a hobby—dressmaking—but the sewing machine was the only prop to support it. There were no dress forms or mention of fabrics and where she stored them, and her descriptions of fashion and clothing was cursory at best. Niggling little details, definitely, but they bothered me.

That’s not to say the book is bad—I adored the basic concept of Six of Hearts and Cosway kept me engaged through the whole novel, even when I thought it was being a bit ridiculous. But I also suspect that, in the hands of a more skilled writer, this story could have been amazeballs instead of just okay. For example, if Arthur Conan Doyle had written this novel, he’d have had me convinced one thing was going on when it was actually a completely different thing. If Alexandre Dumas had written Six of Hearts, the plot would have unfolded with the precision of ticking clock and I’d have been blindsided by how Jay set it all up.

Neither of those scenarios happened here, and I feel like EXPECTING those things to have happened is reasonable because Cosway references the work of both those authors in the book. It was like she was aware of how she could have played with the similarities between magic and great storytelling, but instead of actually trying to do that she focused most of her energies on the relationship between Jay and Matilda. And while I did like them together and thought they had great chemistry, I didn’t think that alone was enough to support the entire novel.

So, somewhat of a mixed bag for me on this one. But Six of Hearts is still a better and more interesting read than 80% of contemporary romances out there, so worth the buy I’d say.



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Review: STILL LIFE WITH STRINGS by LH Cosway

^^Terrible book cover.

Jade makes her living as a Dublin street performer and symphony bartender. After a one-night stand with the symphony's new violinist, Jade and Shane start falling in love, despite the fact that Jade made it clear she was not interested in being anything other than friends. Because reasons. Will Shane be able to convince her to change her mind?

Last year I read and enjoyed LH Cosway's Painted Faces (you know, the book with the drag queen hero), so when I saw Still Life with Strings on sale, I was more than willing to download it. On the surface Still Life with Strings sounds more conventional than Painted Faces—the hero is a musician, and the heroine *is* a street performer, but it's more of a hobby than a full time job. However, I'd go so far as to say that in their own ways Shane and Jade are more unique, and more fully-realized, than Freda and Nicholas from Painted Faces, with a lot more chemistry and a more believable relationship arc. I stayed up until 5 in the morning reading this novel—on a work night, no less—and as much as I enjoyed Painted Faces, I think Still Life with Strings is 1000x better. You all should definitely give it a try.

First of all, the characters. Both Shane and Jade are different and isolated in their own ways, the reasons for which we discover gradually over the course of the novel. Jade's had a hard life, but she maintains her sense of humor and balance through "street performing" as a living statue. I've always wondered why someone would do that, and Cosway makes it sound surprisingly fun and creative. As for Shane, he's definitely an odd one—which actually fits in well with what I know about musicians—and I loved that he spends a good deal of time during the course of the book playing music, writing music, and talking about music. Unlike in some romance novels I could name (coughLickcough), the fact that he's a musician isn't just a hook. It's a part of his character and central to the story.

And speaking of music, the way Cosway incorporates it into Still Life with Strings is brilliantly done. It's not easy to write about music in a way that's unique and interesting, and SHOWS us its importance and effect on the characters, but Cosway does it through imagery and Jade's imaginings, and it totally works.

Still Life with Strings DOES contain several of my least favorite romance tropes: first of all, one night stands that turn into true lurv. So entirely likely, not. However, in this case I found it believable. The trope I had the most problem with was the one where the heroine refuses to start a relationship with the hero just to drag the book out, then changes her mind and says they can be fuck buddies but they won't be "in a relationship." Yeah, it kind of made me roll my eyes a bit, as did the fact that Shane's like, "Sure, we can just be friends. Whatever you want." And then immediately starts hitting on Jade again because HE CAN'T HELP IT. But it was more well-done than in It Happened One Wedding—I mean, there *are* reasons why Jade doesn't want to be in a relationship that apply to every guy out there, not just Shane. Not entirely logical reasons, mind you, but reasons. I also liked the fact that even though Jade was hesitant to get into a relationship with Shane, she was still sexually aggressive and confident. And honestly, Shane and Jade had so much chemistry I was willing forgive the occasional lapse into probably-would-never-happen town.

Another thing that I found kiiiiind of ridiculous and annoying were Shane and Jade's awkward Facebook chats/texts. UHG PEOPLE. I don't want to read pages and pages of characters texting, messaging, or emailing unless it's 1. necessary, and 2. interesting. Okay? Like those things aren't tedious enough in real life (and incidentally, my social media discussions are usually way more interesting than Shane and Jade's).

But aside from that, Still Life with Strings was a really creative and different romance. There are a lot of things going on in this book—mystery, magical realism, Dublin's indie art scene, both Shane and Jade's messy and complicated personal lives, music, class conflict—but it all comes together without one element overwhelming the others. I might have enjoyed Painted Faces, but Still Life with Strings has turned me into a LH Cosway fan.




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Review: PAINTED FACES by LH Cosway

Freda is a young Dubliner who likes to be called Fred. One day she introduces herself to her new neighbor, who tells her he'd like to be called Vivienne. It's only after Nicholas invites her to one of his shows that she realizes he's actually a professional drag queen, not just a guy with a weird sense of humor. Nicholas asks Freda to be his costume assistant, but it's clear he wants more than just a professional relationship or friendship. Will Freda be able to put up with his moody bullshit long enough for these two crazy kids to get together?

I picked up Painted Faces because romances with a heterosexual drag queen as a hero are pretty unusual. You know I'm a sucker for books that are unconventional like that. I'm really glad I took a chance on it, because it was totally fun and entertaining.

What made Painted Faces for me was the heroine and narrator, Freda. She is awesome and hilarious! First of all, she makes cupcakes for a living. How can you NOT love someone who makes cupcakes?? She also has an attraction for anything odd and is always ready with the clever quips. Some of the dialog exchanges in Painted Faces are pretty sharp. She has great friends, drinks too much, visits her parents nearly every weekend, and loves music. She's a character that I felt like I knew and would want to be friends with in real life.

As for Nicholas, he reminded me of something from an animé. As in, cartoonish. You know those beautiful guys in animé shows that are surprisingly kick-ass, yet super-moody and occasionally go into shame spirals because of their DARK PAST? Yeah, he was kind of like that. And sometimes he got slightly rapey, or at the very least sexually harassing. At first it was just awkward and funny (there are so many funny/awkward--fukward?--situations in this book), but as Nicholas and Freda began to know one another more, he only got pushier. I started to get really impatient and annoyed with him about halfway through the book, and equally annoyed with Freda for putting up with his crap. I get that she like-likes him, but no means fuck off, buddy. Once we got to the DARK PAST reveal I really didn't care anymore, and it didn't seem much of a dark past secret anyway. So while I totally get why he would fall in love with Freda, I didn't find Freda's attraction to him that convincing.

There are also a bunch of secondary characters in Painted Faces who are fun and show how much thought LH Cosway put into the two main characters--not just their personality, but their hobbies and what types of people they hang out with. I also LOVED the setting; I seriously need to read more books set in Dublin.

Even though I think Painted Faces is too long and I was a little disgusted with with romance in the third quarter of the book, I still like it for Freda and what a fun and entertaining read it was. The ending was also really sweet and kind of redeemed the whole book for me. I am definitely going to check out more work from this author.



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