J'ai Deux Amours, Neither of Which Are These Books

I really need to stop reading every book that crosses my path and has the word "Paris" in the title, you guys.

In the past two weeks I've read two books that both take place in pre-War Paris (well, kinda). And they both kind of sucked, although for different reasons.



The first was The Bones of Paris by Laurie R. King. It follows the walking and talking of Harris Stuyvesant, an itinerant PI who's trying to find a missing girl in what the author continually reminds us is 1929 Paris. As in, "But hey, it's 1929 Paris!" The "twist" is that Harris slept with Pip before she disappeared. Quelle horreur, y'all. As he follows Pip's trail, he discovers artists are assholes, and one of them might have killed Pip.

Now, I didn't pick up this book JUST because it had the word Paris in the title; I was also intrigued because I like King's Mary Russell and Sherlock Holmes novels (or I did, until I DNF'd two in a row because they were boring me). Based on those books I expected better research and writing from King than I got in this novel. It was almost as if she got all her research from watching Midnight in Paris and Discovery Channel documentaries: everything from the historical characters to the bone-filled catacombs has been treaded and retreaded a thousand times. Even the scenes with Sylvia Beach (whom Harris naturally knows, because I'm sure she loved hanging out with aging private investigators) are so obviously based on those two photographs of her that are in every documentary about Paris in the 1920s. And naturally Picasso, Salvador Dalí, F. Scott Fitgerald, and Cole Porter all have to be mentioned. Come on, I can get this stuff from any book. I had to roll my eyes when it turned out Harris knew Ernest Hemingway, and Kiki de Montparnasse (but never even heard of the guy Kiki lived with for nearly a decade, Man Ray? Makes no sense).

The lack of original and unexpected story lines wouldn't have bothered me too much if King actually brought the city and society of Paris to life, but she didn't. There was a whole lot of tell and not show going on—some passages read distinctly guidebook-y—and while King might have been going for a crime noir type novel, the tone of the writing was too light to pull it off. I was also a little bothered by the way some of the surrealists, like Man Ray and Lee Miller, were portrayed. But to be fair, that's probably because of my background in art history.

In the end The Bones of Paris just wasn't interesting enough to hold my attention. I only read it for a few days, but it felt like WEEKS because nothing happened and I didn't give a damn if Harris found Pip or not. Or if he threw himself into the Seine, for that matter. The Bones of Paris was a DNF, and I think it will also be the last book I read by King.





The second novel, Midnight Train to Paris, was originally released as a Kindle serial and is about a journalist whose twin sister is kidnapped from a train along with two other women. Just so happens, 75 years earlier three other women were taken from the same train, at the same place and time. Coincidence?! Soon Jillian is traveling to Switzerland with her ex-luvarh (who used to be in the CIA but is now a private super-investigator) to find her sister and solve both kidnappings, in both time periods!

There is sooo much going on in this book: corrupt US senators, child abuse, murrrrder, betrayal, scandal (sounds like an ABC lineup), art, time travel, train mysteries, castles hidden in the mountains, insanity... LORDY LORDY. I have to admit that I enjoyed it a lot more than The Bones of Paris because there was stuff going on (what a concept), even though the writing was much worse. For example, the author took care to describe, in detail, the driving routes her characters took to get from one place to another, yet didn't bother to research average weather patterns in the Alps or what people wear when it's cold outside. Hint: it's generally more than a pencil skirt, heels, and a light jacket.

Nevertheless, I was having fun reading it. But about halfway through Midnight Train to Paris, I started to lose interest because there was a complete lack of plausibility. Not just the inconsistencies in clothing, but in the characters' behavior and the numerous incredible coincidences. I didn't care if Jillian and her cookie cutter hero got together, if her sister would survive, or even if Jill would. When the hero and heroine traveled back in time and the heroine started getting messages across space-time from her sister, it got to be too much. I skimmed to the end, so trust me when I say it only gets more ridiculous as the book goes on. Also, there are only about three pages that actually take place in Paris. You can definitely feel free to skip this pulpy mess of a novel.


Have you read any good books set in Paris lately?


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I Spy Books with Spies

So you've watched Casino Royale three hundred times and can recite whole portions of The Bourne Identity from memory (that's, like, your superpower). You even sat through all five hours of Tinker, Tailer, Soldier, Spy. Okay, that was more for the man candy, and you might have spent most of it tweeting, but anyway. The point is, you can't get enough of sophisticated spies, but you're so desperate for something new you're considering watching Knight and Day; and yeah, you could read (or reread) the actual James Bond novels, but you're hoping for something slightly less misogynistic. Fortunately for you: sexy spies with a love story thrown in? We got that.

Note that this list isn't of spy novels as per literary fiction--if you love John Le Carré, more power to you, but I prefer my spy stories to be as divorced from reality as possible. The way God, or at least Ian Fleming, intended.

Black Ice by Anne Stuart--Chloe is scraping by as a translator in Paris (shades of Charade!) when she's offered a job in the French countryside. Only the job turns out to be for a group of arms dealers. Fortunately for Chloe, there's a spy among them--Bastien Toussaint, who's not sure what Chloe's game is, but is willing to protect her from the baddies until he finds out. This book is the first in a series about an organization of spies who travel the world. All of the novels are unputdownable with just the right mix of thriller and romance. NO ONE writes bad boy heroes like Anne Stuart.



Crazy Hot by Tara Janzen--Quinn used to be the black sheep of his small town, until he left to join the military. Now he's part of a special ops team that operates under the cover of a specialty car shop, and his first mission involves working with Regan, the poor little rich girl who broke his heart. Fast cars, kick ass men, and wrong-side-of-the-tracks romance? TOTALLY THERE. I also love this book because it takes place in my home state (Colorado); Regan is super-smart and doesn't take any crap from anyone; and it really is a hot book. Also: first in a series, again. All of the installments with high entertainment value.



The Riddle of the Sands by Erskine Childers--Okay, so the guys are more hugable than hot in this one, and the romance is kind of incidental, but I do recommend Riddle of the Sands for anyone who loves spy stories. Curruthers is a suit at the Foreign Office who is desperate for a vacation, so he accepts an invitation from a random acquaintance, Davies, to go sailing on his yacht. In the Baltic Sea. In September. When he arrives, it's to find out that Davies only invited him because he thinks a German spy tried to kill him, and now he needs help figuring out what the spy was trying to hide. This is a great book. I absolutely love Carruthers, who is sarcastic and hilarious, and the story is surprisingly tense and 100% believable. Childers really knew what of he wrote. Winston Churchill even used Riddle of the Sands as a blueprint for British operations in the Baltic during WWII.



My Bother Michael by Mary Stewart--Camilla is sitting in a cafe in Athens, bemoaning how boring her life is and how nothing ever happens, when something happens! (Note I have attempted this tactic myself on several occasions and it NEVER WORKS.) A stranger presses a key into her hand and begs her to take a car to a man named Simon in Delphi. It's a matter of life and death! Well, what's a girl to do? Camilla hops in the car and drives that sucker down to Delphi, where she gets involved with the mysterious Simon and all the non-boring car chases, shoot-outs, and cloak-and-dagger craziness that is his life.


What are some of your favorite spy novels?


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Review: DEFENDING THE DUCHESS by Rachelle McCalla

Proposed alternate title: Crossing the Line with the Duchess (it is said twice)




Julia is visiting her sister, an American who married into the royal family of a very obscure country in Central Europe named, for some reason, after Elizabeth Bennet's flighty sister. Anyway, now that her sister is a queen, Julia is slated to become a royal duchess--if she survives long enough to make it to the ceremony! Fortunately, she has a bodyguard with the unlikely name of Linus to keep her safe. Nothing's sexier than safe!

Defending the Duchess started out pretty good, with Julia almost immediately being abducted and Linus chasing after her. Very exciting! Buuuuuuut then the book became all about finding out who attempted to kidnap Julia and why, and it had something to do with engines, and I just really did not care. The less I know about the MacGuffin the better, and unfortunately Defending the Duchess was 90% blah blah blah about engines and legal documents and cars. Snoresville, especially since it seemed like the author didn't know a whole lot about any of those things.

I can understand why there was so much about the MacGuffin, though, because without it the book would have been fifty pages! There was no character development at all and very little romance. Julia was the most bizarrely weak character, both physically and emotionally, that I have come across in a long time. Maybe ever. She bangs her shin and is completely unable to walk; she gets a phone call from the baddy bad guy and "whimpers"; and whenever one tiny thing goes wrong she has an emotional breakdown and can't deal. I'm not saying I'm a rock or anything, but how on earth did she make it through law school if she faints at every sign of conflict?

Also, the writing was super-stilted. When Defending the Duchess first started I found it a bit hilarious ("The handsome guard's chivalrous actions;" "Julia caught a whiff of a manly scent;" "Were all royal guards so perfectly sweet and attentive? Julia couldn't recall a time when she'd felt so pampered;" "Julia felt her heart warm a little more for the thoughtful guard;" etc. etc.), but after a while it started to wear on me, especially when there was nothing interesting going on in the story.

I'm not sure why I kept reading, except that I'm a sucker for Ruritanian romances and I kind of liked Linus (even if I did think of the movie Sabrina every time I saw his name and reflect on how that's the most inappropriate name for a bodyguard ever). I skimmed through most of it, I'm not going to lie, and was pretty relieved when it was over. Nevertheless, I might consider reading the next book in the series, even though I have no idea what other relatives King Thaddeus and company are going to dig out of the US.


ETA: Oh, oops! I forgot to add, I got a copy of this book from the publisher for free on Netgalley. Thanks, publisher!



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Review: RITUAL SINS by Anne Stuart

When Rachel's mom dies suddenly of cancer and leaves all of her considerable fortune ($12 mil) to a cult called The Foundation of Being, Rachel is pissed. She travels to New Mexico to confront the leader of the Foundation, Luke Bardell, a charismatic ex-con. There she discovers Luke is anything but the spiritual ascetic he pretends to be, and that everyone at the Foundation of Being is a FREAKING PSYCHO.

The premise of Ritual Sins is pretty far out there, and I love it. How many romances do you come across that take place in a New Age-y compound where the hero is the leader of a cult? Not that many! Of course, most writers would have trouble making a hero such as Luke appealing, but since this is Anne Stuart and bad boys are her raison d'etre, she knocks it out of the park. Luke reminded me of Paul Newman in Cool Hand Luke, only after he got out of prison and started another con in the middle of the desert.

I was really enjoying Ritual Sins for about the first half, but then Luke and Rachel leave the Foundation of Being, and it totally threw me out of the story. I almost gave up on the book at that point, in fact, but was in the middle of a bout of insomnia and figured I might as well keep going. The second part of the book isn't bad, it just takes a while to get reinvested in what's going on, and the information we're given really isn't, to my mind, that important. I don't need to know any more details about Luke's shitty childhood than I was already given earlier in the book.

As for Rachel, she was an okay character, but it seems like these two have way too many problems between them, and I was never sure why Rachel was attracted to Luke at all.

And then they go pack to the Foundation (I don't want to say "and it's kind of like in Pirates of the Caribbean when they go back to the island," AGAIN--see here and here--but actually it's just like that) and there are SO MANY THINGS that make no sense. Luke is supposed to have the Foundation under constant surveillance and a killer instinct about people, but he had no idea what was going on, really? And why did all these people want to kill each other? Seriously, way too many murder plots running around this book. And why doesn't someone just call the police?

I really admire Stuart's guts and willingness to take chances in her writing, and I think Ritual Sins is a perfect example of those qualities. However, as far as this story goes, it's kind of disappointing. There are many books by Stuart that are more successful and probably better for those unfamiliar with her work to try out.

Review: WAIT FOR WHAT WILL COME by Barbara Michaels

Go to the western gate at set of sun
On Midsummer Eve, and wait for what will come.

Like most Americans, Carla Tregellas knows very little about her family's European roots--that is, until an unknown relative in Cornwall dies, leaving her an isolated and crumbling cliffside mansion. Carla knows she'll have to sell the property, but decides to visit before she does. Not a day into her arrival, she finds out the women of the Tregellas family are cursed--every 200 years, a demon rises from the sea to reclaim the soul of his ancient bride. And Carla just happens to be there on the 200th anniversary of the last Tregellas woman's disappearance. Dun dun dun! More importantly, there are a bunch of handsome and very available men hanging out in the village who are more than willing to show Carla the Cornish scenery. The list of available bachelors includes:

• Alan: the Tregellas family solicitor, and the local catch. He drives a fancy car and is very handsome, but unfortunately is also a controlling chauvinist pig. Or as the heroine puts it, "masterful."
  
• The Vicar: nice guy, is young for a vicar, and has an awesome house.
  
• Simon: the village doctor and self-proclaimed expert on local folklore. Charming in a bumbling country doc sort of way.
  
• Michael: (former?) ballet dancer and grandson of Carla's housekeeper, he's visiting for the summer to help out in the garden. Or so he says.
• Tim O'Hara: a friend of Michael's, he's backpacking around Europe and taking advantage of few days weeks worth of free lodging.
  

It's been a while since I read Wait for What Will Come, which is one of my favorite books by Barbara Michaels. When I recommended it to Becky at One Literature Nut a few weeks ago, I suddenly realized that I really wanted to read it again. If you're looking for a great summer escape novel, you can't go wrong with Barbara Michaels; and you especially can't go wrong with this book, which transports you to an obscure little village in Pirates of Penzance country and introduces a young woman to a heritage that goes back to Ancient Rome. Literally, there is a Roman mosaic in her backyard.

I first read Wait for What Will Come when I was eight, and I've reread it so many times since then I'm not sure I can effectively review it for someone who picks it up for the first time. I have my favorite scenes and I basically just read those and skim the rest. But there were a lot of things that surprised me on this reread. For one, I found Carla to be extremely annoying--she's so smug about being practical and logical, and looks down her nose at anyone who believes in legends or stories. By the time I was about a quarter of the way into the book, I was pretty sick of her Holier-than-thou attitude, especially since all the other women in this book are treated as total neurotics who need medical attention. Also, the tricks played on Carla to scare her out of the house, which seemed very creepy to me as a kid, seem laughable now.

That being said, Wait for What Will Come is still very romantic--not in the boy-meets-girl kind of way, which is a pretty minor part of the book, but in the sense of Carla going to Cornwall and discovering her family's history and place in the world. As a kid growing up in the middle of Colorado, things like cromlechs (standing stone circles) and Roman ruins seemed impossibly exotic and fascinating. And they still do! It probably says a lot about this book that the food and history Carla encounters in Cornwall are the things I remember most from the story. The suspense may be a little flat, but as a romantic escapist novel, Wait for What Will Come definitely succeeds.

The Treasures of Venice by Loucinda McGary

The Treasures of Venice by Loucinda McGary*

This is a fun, escapist novel filled with romance, set in a great location.  Not exactly literary genius, but it is enjoyable.

Samantha is sitting in a cafe on St. Mark's Square, when suddenly a handsome stranger walks up to her and acts like he knows her!  Intrigued (didn't you ever hear curiosity killed the cat, Sam?), she follows him into the Doge's Palace and learns that the sexy Irishman is named Keirnan Fitzgerald.  How... Irish!  She also gets the sense that he's hiding from someone or someones unknown.  Even though Sam knows better, her libido starts making noises with her mouth, and pretty soon she's showing him where she's staying.

Keirnan leaves and Sam thinks that's the end of their association, but the next night she finds him in her hotel room with a bullet wound!  In short order, she discovers that Keirnan is searching for the Jewels of the Madonna, a legendary treasure, so that he can save his sister's life.

This book is old skool romantic suspense.  In fact, the beginning is almost exactly like the beginning of a Mary Stewart novel I read when I was younger (can't remember which one--they tend to blend together).  But that's mostly what I liked about this book.  It feels comfortable and familiar, and you can just shut off your brain and enjoy the adventure and setting.

I got this book from Meghan at Medieval Bookworm (thank you, Meghan!), and she enjoyed it more than I did.  For me, the story started to fall apart in the second half.  I expected the stakes to go up a lot more than they did, and Keirnan to be involved in a much bigger, sketchier operation than he was, so the suspense started to seriously wane on my end.  I also didn't buy Keirnan and Sam falling in love so quickly or so hard--but then, I skimmed through most of the historical sub-plot, just because it was actually sillier than the contemporary one, and that's what really set the stage for them to have a huge romantic connection.

Even with those drawbacks, however, I did enjoy the book and the setting.  If you like old-fashioned romantic adventure or books set in Venice, this is a good bet.

***

Speaking of the setting, have I mentioned I LOVE Venice, and love books set in Venice?  One of the things I really liked about the novel was that I'd been to most of the places mentioned.  Check out my photo album on Flickr to see a few of the touristy spots featured in the book.

***

Meghan is also reviewing a book today that I sent her at Medieval Bookworm!  Go to her site to see what books we swapped.


*Click on this link & buy because Mama wants a trip to Venice.

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