Thursday, January 24, 2013

Novel Conspiracies

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I heard about this article on Conspiracy Theories About Classic Characters at Bookarama and immediately got sucked in. They aren't really "conspiracy theories," more like reinterpretations--for example, Nick from The Great Gatsby is gay. Actually every character in the article is gay. Anyway, I immediately started thinking of my own "conspiracy theories," as you do.

Theory 1: Snape is Harry's father figure, not Dumbledore. I already wrote about this extensively in For the Love of Severus Snape, so I'm just going to leave it at that and let the original post stand.

Theory 2: Elinor Dashwood is in love with Willoughby. "ELINOR Dashwood?!" you're no doubt thinking. "But it's Marianne who's supposed to have fallen in love with Willoughby in Sense and Sensibility." You're right, voluble reader, Marianne did fall in love with wandering Willoughby. But I think Elinor did, too. I'm sure we can all agree that there is nothing attractive about Edward, and it's a well-known law of romance novels that opposites attract. Wouldn't it be natural for uptight, logical Elinor to develop a tendre for the romantic and brooding Willoughby, especially after learning Edward was already engaged? Who better to serve as Mr. Rebound than him? No wonder she didn't tell Marianne to pull herself together and stop acting pathetic after they learned Willoughby was engaged--she was glad her sister wasn't going to get him! And since it turns out he's really a beta male anyway (totally Sophia's bitch), Willoughby and Elinor are actually kind of perfect together.

Theory 3: Doctor Seward is actually mental. I find it very weird that Doctor Seward from Dracula lives in the asylum where he's a doctor. Who does that? You'd think he'd want to get away from his job... IF IT REALLY IS A JOB. How do we know he doesn't just THINK he's a doctor there and that the real doctors are humoring him to see if his delusion runs its course? After all, it seems like the only "work" he does is to natter into his phonograph, and he can take off whenever he wants. Very suspicious. His "mentor," Van Helsing, is probably Seward's psychiatrist, and he encourages the people at the asylum to accommodate Seward's illness by giving him employment. The whole thing with Lucy being a vampire and Arthur "thrusting his stake" into her was a delusion brought on by her rejection of Seward's marriage proposal.

Further Reading:

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