THE HYPNOTIST by MJ Rose

Synopsotist:

FBI Art Crime agent Lucien Glass is trying to crack down on Malachi, who specializes in past life regression (this plot is continued from the previous books in the series, which I haven't read). Meanwhile, some other people want to steal a chryselephantine statue from the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and so does this other person, who instead of just stealing it hatches an elaborate plot involving stolen artwork that they use to bribe the Met into surrendering the statue of Hypnos. Then there are explosions. Somehow, everything intersects.

Reasons Why You Might Enjoy This Book:

1. You like strange names. Instead of being named Richard or John or Scott, or something you would expect an FBI agent to be named, the FBI agent here is named Lucien. As if he's a brooding bad boy from a Regency romance novel. In fact, no one in this book has a normal name; even Lucien's first love is named Solange--SOLANGE, are you freaking kidding me?!?
2. You find foreigners to be suspicious. All the baddy bad guys in this novel are foreigners. In addition, an overwhelming percentage of them appear to be from the Middle East. So that's not stereotyping at all.
   
3. You have a less-than-rudimentary grasp of the law. Um, yeah, the whole thing with Lucien investigating the murder of his one twu love would totally happen. And also the thing with the hypnotism. And also being called to a scene before the local authorities.
   
4. You love it when a new character is introduced every five pages. After about the quarter mark this starts getting reeeally annoying.
5. You enjoy looking shit up. Don't know what a chryselephantine statue is? Have fun on wikipedia, kids, because the author doesn't explain it. Does she know? Does it matter?
   
6. You like Dan Brown's novels, but the writing is a little too edgy and deep for you. The way this author phrases things is SO CHEESY, I could hardly believe I was even reading it. "Taghinia smiled as he opened his humidor, extracted a Cuban, rolled it in his fingers, listened to its music, cut off the tip, and set about lighting the stinking weed." Mmmkay. "His arms ached to hold her, hold on to her and keep her with him, keep her safe."!11!! *gaggyface*

Sooo, you really want to read this book now, don't you? Yes you do, just admit it! Luckily for you, I haz a contest. Voila! It's even open internationally if you're willing to accept the book in eFormat (PDF).